In my opinion, giving the children money for their superior academic achievement would not be beneficial for them in the long run. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will illustrate in the following essay.
First of all, children in the age of students age should learn how to have their own motivation. Otherwise, they would lose their passion for education when they do not need money from families anymore. They could work and have the financially independent. Therefore, offering money is not a guarantee to maintain the children's intensive for education. In fact, this attitude would teach them to be materialistic individuals. For example, my cousin was a smart kid and he could achieve high grades in his middle school. However, his parents were giving him money as a reward consistently. When he turned into sixteen years of age, he got a job at a local restaurant to earn his money. Unfortunately, he focused on collecting money and dropped his school. He thought that money was the goal in this life instead of studying and having a high academic position. I think his parents should be guided him to know that there are other meanings in life beyond money.
Secondly, giving money to children for each high mark would make them spoiled. They would raise their demands and they might not accept any excuse from their parents if they could not have the money. Some parents may suffer from poor conditions. Therefore, we should learn our kids that their success would be their own glory, and they do not need money as an encouragement to keep on academic successful track. Otherwise, children would be selfish and take care of no one except themselves.
To sum up, I strongly believe that parents should not reward their children studying with money. That is because they should have their own motives. In addition, they might make them selfish if they took this reward as an obligation from their parents, regardless of the parents' poor conditions.
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- TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 60
- TPO-03 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 76
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i feel, i think, in addition, in fact, first of all, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1638.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 336.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.875 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59839666899 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508928571429 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 487.8 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.4577602202 48.9658058833 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.0 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.04761904762 5.45110844103 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275912295494 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0886930230621 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0398238513201 0.0737576698707 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171198228687 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0434194234944 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.25 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.