TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Nowadays, parents are too much busy and they don’t have enough time to spend with their children’s, so in my opinion, have funny time with each other is a great idea.

First, some parents just have a free time on weekend so they can go to picnic to have fun or playing games or playing volleyball to submit a fantastic moment. I remember when I was teenager all my friend went to zoo with their parents but my mom was always at work because of her job. I was really missed her,because, she was a police officer and all her shift times were at night. And I always get mad why she was not with me and I should go out without her also, I don’t have any photo of her, unfortunately after 8 months, she died in shootout of her undercover operation. And her friends told me she had a fantastic character and I even know it, because, I couldn’t spend much time with her. I can understand the economy has so much problem, but, how can I get back that time I loose without my mom, the money is important, but, parents much more important than everything, and I really miss her to love me.

Second, parents can pay money to find good teacher to help their children in schoolwork, but, no one can get full of the mom and dad placeles in children life’s, they should spend a time with them, for example, when my dad left me, it was a disappointed moment I’ve ever had, I really loved him but, he gone and married with another woman and I’ve never see him and just heard, he died in car accident, after 10 years later, nobody instead of his place in my heart, Even my new family.

In conclusion, life is too short so the better idea is spending it with the people loved us, specially our children, they deserve all the best, and the duty of the parents is, make a great memory for them, when our children grows up and marry, always remember that the interesting moment they had.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , parents
Nowadays,parents are too much busy and they don't h...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , because
...ause of her job. I was really missed her,because, she was a police officer and all her s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 647, Rule ID: KNOW_NOW[4]
Message: Did you mean 'now'?
Suggestion: now
...he had a fantastic character and I even know it, because, I couldn't spend much...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, so, for example, in conclusion, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1558.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 353.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.41359773371 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55624560183 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.543909348442 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 474.3 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.6003584229 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 39.0 20.1344086022 194% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 117.086651462 48.9658058833 239% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 173.111111111 100.406767564 172% => OK
Words per sentence: 39.2222222222 20.6045352989 190% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.22222222222 5.45110844103 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217509011315 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108127753061 0.076458572812 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0772903771698 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151286030041 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0676601426208 0.0645574589148 105% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 11.7677419355 161% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 10.1575268817 148% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.89 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 47.0 86.8835125448 54% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.6 10.0537634409 175% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.