TPO 45- In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives

As a young person, there are times when crucial decisions pertaining to your future should be made. Such decisions, if wrongly made, could make or mar such a person for life. The issue of who makes such decisions is highly controversial. Should such decisions be made by the parents, or by the young people themselves? In the past, felt that their children were not mature enough to take certain important decisions in life. They made the most important decisions in the lives of their youths which cuts across the areas of marriage and career choice. Over the years, young people have advocated for a change of who makes decisions for them. The big question is, if young people are allowed to make certain decisions for themselves, will they be able to make the right decisions? I strongly believe that they will, and I will defend my stand in the trailing paragraphs.
Firstly, in the past, parents were responsible for choosing marriage partners for their children. Because it was regarded as the norms, the young people did not have the privilege of objecting to the decisions of their parents. They had to accept whoever their parents chose as their 'ideal' life partner. However, in recent years, the decision of who chooses a marriage partner is moving away from the hands of the parents into the hands of the young people themselves. Now, we see a drastic drop in the amount of reported cases of marriage failures and dissatisfaction. This effortlessly abates all fears as to whether young people are capable of making the right decisions for themselves.
Also fractious is the debate of who takes the decisions of their career choice. In past, young people depended on their parents to choose a career for them. Such parents tended to make decisions based on their own preference without considering the passion of their children. But, in recent years, young people have been encouraged by psychologists to make decisions concerning their choice of career. Young people who adhered to such advice have been confirmed to be happier while studying their desired courses, and also while working in their dream fields.
To sum up, I strongly believe that when young people are allowed to make their decisions themselves, they make better choices.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
As a young person, there are times when ...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... my stand in the trailing paragraphs. Firstly, in the past, parents were respo...
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Line 2, column 611, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...ion. This effortlessly abates all fears as to whether young people are capable of making the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng the right decisions for themselves. Also fractious is the debate of who take...
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Line 3, column 6, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...e right decisions for themselves. Also fractious is the debate of who takes th...
^^^^
Line 3, column 85, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'In the past'?
Suggestion: In the past
...s the decisions of their career choice. In past, young people depended on their parents...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... while working in their dream fields. To sum up, I strongly believe that when ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, so, while, as to, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1881.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 378.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97619047619 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56545700898 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.470899470899 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 559.8 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.5162289775 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 89.5714285714 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.19047619048 5.45110844103 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.551618333087 0.236089414692 234% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.194539780568 0.076458572812 254% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113126587434 0.0737576698707 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.386508130893 0.150856017488 256% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0366886733529 0.0645574589148 57% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.