Undoubtedly, each society has numeral well-known people such as celebrities, who play essential roles during their shows. As they are famous and most shown by social media, various ranges of audiences would watch them. Thus, the celebrities may have viable influences on both younger spectators and older ones. When it comes to this point, most researchers want to know whether these important effects on young people are more than old audiences or vice versa. I personally believe that young people are the most affected groups. In what follows, I will delve into couple of reasons to shed light on my response.
First reason that comes to my mind is that young people look for role models more than older ones. In general, when each person faces with famous and wealthy people, wants to know more about them and analyze their life to find out an efficient way to be successful as the celebrities. The older people, who have more experience, investigate the celebrities' life less than the young people, owing to the fact that they better know the way of success. But young people mostly believe that being rich and famous as celebrities requires having role models and imitating them. As I remember, when I was a fourteen years old child, I picked M. Jordan as my role model; I mimicked his behavior as much as I could because I had thought that if I do what he usually does in his life, I will be successful like him in the future. On the other side of the coin, my father did not imitate anyone, and it became a huge question to me. When I asked him about this issue, he said that it’s because he knows whether a way of life is correct or not, based on his experience.
Second, should the young people get affected more than the older people, younger people are more in contact with the celebrities. In this developed era, people face more with changed technology. In addition, younger generations are more adaptive to changes occurred during mentioned developments. Thus, celebrities’ shows are more available for younger people, who can easily get access to massive database of presentations via their cellphones. The more the contacts with celebrities, the more the influences. Based on a research done by marketing department of Shahid Beheshti University for investigating effects of social media on each group of people, two of each three young people use their cellphone more than two hours a day. However, the statistics shows that this amount is much less among old people. Thus, young people are more under pressure of getting affected.
To recapitulate, we can conclude that celebrities have more effects on young people than the old ones. This is because young people not only look for role models more than matures but also, they are more in touch with celebrities.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 346, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...o have more experience, investigate the celebrities life less than the young people, owing ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, second, so, thus, well, in addition, in general, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2324.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 477.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87211740042 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61660080526 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490566037736 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 724.5 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.7648406664 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.8333333333 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.875 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.08333333333 5.45110844103 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.88709677419 266% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.