TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

Celebrities have a great impact on their society, and most of the time people like to recall them as their role model. Therefore, we come to this question that who prefer to consider these celebrities more? Do celebrities influence older people of the society as much as the youngers? I would say no. In my opinion, celebrities have a more significant role in young people's life. Now, in the following article, I try to vindicate my standpoint.
To begin with, old people have a lot of experience, as they have spent the most part of their life experiencing different things and seeing the world. Thus, they prefer to rely on their own experience, rather than those of another person who might not be old enough to have gained lots of experience. Specially, considering the fact that most celebrities are young people, I suppose old people might feel an insulation, paying attention to those unexperienced famous people. Considering my own grandmother, she doesn't want any of her own grandchildren to tell her she doesn't have enough information in a field, let alone any other person in this world to use his/her ideas or experiences. She prefers to think that she knows everything.
In addition, old people prefer to spend their time far from the world of celebrities, while young people have great excitement, and it sounds like they're swallowing in this world. To speak more precisely, it's a desire for most of young people to be famous one day, while old people have passed this age, and are looking for a world to relax. Older people are usually seeking for a quiet life, after all that stress and pressure of working in their younger ages. And as a result, it's certainly young people paying a lot attention to celebrities and what and how they're doing. For instance, my younger brother likes to have posters from football players all around the world. He spends most of his time finding about football players' personal life, and imitates them in any situation. Whereas my grandfather who loves football too, doesn't pay attention to these minute points and prefers to watch football just for its joy.
To make the long story short, old people prefer to rely on their own experience, rather than a young celebrity who might make mistakes. Also, I suppose it's too late for them to take care about what celebrities doing or anything related to them. And because of these reasons, I say it’s young people for whom celebrities are important. However, I came to this conclusion considering my own grandparents and other old member of my extended family. And this is not overgeneralized to any other old persons in the world.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 511, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...le. Considering my own grandmother, she doesnt want any of her own grandchildren to te...
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Line 2, column 568, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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Suggestion: doesn't
...f her own grandchildren to tell her she doesnt have enough information in a field, let...
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Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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Suggestion: they're
...ve great excitement, and it sounds like theyre swallowing in this world. To speak more...
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Line 3, column 206, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...in this world. To speak more precisely, its a desire for most of young people to be...
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Line 3, column 562, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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Suggestion: they're
...tention to celebrities and what and how theyre doing. For instance, my younger brother...
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Line 3, column 831, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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Suggestion: doesn't
... my grandfather who loves football too, doesnt pay attention to these minute points an...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, look, so, therefore, thus, whereas, while, after all, for instance, i suppose, in addition, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2189.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 453.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83222958057 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69101351409 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474613686534 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 675.9 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.4863140315 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.1739130435 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6956521739 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.60869565217 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.107556653481 0.236089414692 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.038594001839 0.076458572812 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0389551203544 0.0737576698707 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0746219652393 0.150856017488 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.027174149866 0.0645574589148 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.