TPO-47 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.

We are living in a modern society with the assistance of technologies that enable us to get information around the world in seconds. However, people raise the question of whether they need to know about many things that they are not involved with. People have different ideas about this issue. In my opinion, people should pay attention to many events that happen around the world. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, getting information about many events in the world enables people to open their minds to many perspectives. People admit that they are able to know more about the world thanks to the help of the internet. Obviously, if we know many things are better than knowing nothing. The more we learn, read and get information, the more knowledge we can gain. Reading books, news and events are one of the best way to exercise our minds. Therefore, they can work more effectively and have acumen about many different situations. Moreover, we cannot know what will happen tomorrow. What we learn and consider today may support us in the future. My own experience is a compelling example of this case. Last year, I participated in a contest named "Traveling around the World". They asked me various questions about the world. I could answer them easily and I won big reward because I love to learn many things happen around the world.
Secondly, by knowing more about events occur around the world, people can help themselves and support those who in needs. There are many things happen in the world every day, such as natural disaster and some people get lost. The soccer team lost in Thailand is a tremendous example. Even though this happened in Thailand, people in the world concerned about them. That is why the information about them was shown every day in magazines and televisions. People prayed for them and encouraged their families. It is also a meaningful lesson for us to be careful when we travel to strange places.
In conclusion, people have different ideas about the question that do people need to know many events happen around the world even they seem to be not relevant to them. In my view, I totally support the statement that we should pay attention to many things that occur around the world due to the fact that they can help us to open our minds to many perspectives and we can help each other when they are in need.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 156, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
...world in seconds. However, people raise the question of whether they need to know about many things tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 507, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
... more effectively and have acumen about many different situations. Moreover, we cannot know wh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, i feel, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1997.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72104018913 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47563449617 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.463356973995 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 613.8 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.5833802714 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.8076923077 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.2692307692 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.57692307692 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.225166475124 0.236089414692 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0726083728948 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0571975061894 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167988309387 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0286279443421 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.8 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.19 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.