Education has always played an inevitable role in every individual’s life. In the past few decades, as time has passed, the competitions among individuals have increased to earn a better score in school. Hence, parents are paying more efforts to encourage their children to get higher grades in the exam. In this regard, some people think that parents should offer money as rewards when children get higher scores in the exam, while others hold the opposite view. From my vantage point, the latter view contains more weight. I take the position on account for the following reasons.
The first reason that makes me hold the belief that it is a good idea that parents motivate their loved ones to work hard for their exam however, providing money as a reward is not a judicious way to motivate children. To be more specific, children are not matured enough at this age and cannot distinguish between good and bad for them. Hence, getting a financial reward can be used anywhere inappropriately which may cause negative consequences in children’s life. To shed more light on this, when my brother was in high school, he used to get a reward from his parents after achieving higher grades in the exam. Consequently, he started using that money to buy cigarettes and he got addicted to it. Luckily, I caught him with cigarettes and made him realize his mistake. Therefore, had I not made him realize his mistake, his health would have badly affected by a smoking habit.
Furthermore, another noteworthy point is that there are various other ways whereby parents can motivate their children besides providing money. In other words, children would not learn any motives behind getting money after achieving a higher score whereas, making a promise to buy their favorite possessions will push them to do well in the exam. Also, it is always good for children to get involved in such possessions instead of dealing with money at this age. My own experience is a compelling example of this. From my childhood, I liked playing with barbie dolls. Therefore, my parents used to motivate me to work harder to achieve the first rank in the exam to get a barbie doll. Thus, I started working hard for my exams so that I could get a new barbie.
Lastly, giving money to their kids depending on their performance might foster their overall grades, while the negative consequences are overweighed the positive ones. To be more specific, children get habituated to using money to buy their personal products. Meanwhile, if parents will stop providing it, children will no longer work hard for their exams and might cheat in the exam to gain good scores. Gradually, children would start looking for other options to earn money and may get deviated from their education. Thereby, parents should need to look for possible consequences before providing financial rewards.
All in all, after contemplating remarks I strongly believe that it is not a good idea to gift money as a reward to the children. This is because they might lose interest in their studies if their parents would stop giving them money and because they might spend that earning inappropriately.
- TPO40Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think it is a good idea 73
- TPO 49 Integrated Writing Task 80
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Competition among friends usually has a negative effect on friendship Use details and examples to support your opinion 83
- TPO 66 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People who develop many different skills are more successful than people who focus on one skill only 73
- tpo14 80
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, consequently, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, lastly, look, may, so, therefore, thus, well, whereas, while, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2620.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 532.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92481203008 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80261649409 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62123369331 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494360902256 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 808.2 618.680645161 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.9660918401 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.037037037 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7037037037 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.37037037037 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.339277427835 0.236089414692 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0873957903976 0.076458572812 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0628079458699 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198488391413 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.012983473555 0.0645574589148 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.