Recently, there has been a lot of debate whether or not the findings of Tyrannosor rex (T.rex) represents a new scientific discovery. One group represented by the professor in the lecture is skeptical about this new findings. However, others like the author supports that this findings is beneficial for scientists to study animal’s fossils.
First, in regard to the soft, flexible organic substance inside the bone, the professor asserts that this could be the result of colonized bacteria that used to live inside bones. He contends that this soft material is nothing but a residue of bacteria. However, the text affirms that this substance is in fact represent the remains of an actual blood vessels of T.rex.
Second, the professor explains that in the same location where T.rex fossils extracted scientists found iron in other animals like primitive animals who are not supposed to have any red blood cell at all. He added that the iron could be just be reddish minerals that came in contact with T.rex fossils. However, the text claims that the microscopic examination reveals presence of spheres that could be the remains of red blood cell of T.rex.
Finally, the professor asserts that collagen was never found in fossils older than 1000 years, this will directly contradict the fact that collagen has been found in a fossils that goes back to 70 million years. The professor affirms that the collagen in the fossils is not from T.rex but instead it is from researcher’s skin. However, the text explains that collagen is the exact biochemical material that one would expect to find when dealing with a bone tissue.
colonized bacteria that used to live inside bones
colonized bacteria that are used to live inside bones
colonized bacteria used to live inside bones
Sentence: However, others like the author supports that this findings is beneficial for scientists to study animal's fossils.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and findings
this substance is in fact represent the remains of an actual blood vessels of T.rex.
this substance is in fact representing the remains of an actual blood vessels of T.rex.
reveals presence of spheres
reveals the presence of spheres
flaws:
It is wrong to start the introduction like this:
'Recently, there has been a lot of debate whether or not the findings of Tyrannosor rex (T.rex) represents a new scientific discovery.'
It happens between the reading and lecture.
Read sample essays from ETS how to start:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 275 250
No. of Characters: 1322 1200
No. of Different Words: 140 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.072 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.807 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.483 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.017 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4