Writing integrated -TPO 10

In these set of materials, the reading discusses theories about the declining of the sea otters population. Which is a small mammal who lives in waters in the west coast of North America. The article introduces two theories, the pollution and the predation. and it mentions that the pollution theory is the more likely of the two. However, the professor disagrees with the article; she believes that the predation theory is the more likely. And she refutes each of the author’s reasons.

To begin with, the reading claims that there were known sources of pollution along the Alaskan coast, such like oil rigs and residues of industrial chemicals. Which is a great evidence that the pollution caused the decline. On the other hand, the professor says this theory is weakened because there are no dead sea otters washing of the Alaskan beach. And the absence of otter’s dead bodies confirms that the sea otter’s population had declined because predation. And they were eaten immediately.

Second, the reading asserts that the pollution theory is more likely. Because other sea mammals population declined too, like seals and sea lions. Conversely, the professor opposes this idea, she believes that orcas prefer to hunt whales, whose population declined too because of human hunting. The thing that forced orcas to alter their diet and start predate sea otters and other sea mammals.

Third, the author posits that the uneven pattern of population decline can be explained by pollution theory, and according to this theory the decline followed the pollutant concentration. However, the professor refutes this theory; she says that the uneven pattern of declining is better explained by the predation theory. Because some location is more accessible for a large predators like orcas than others. And a population in those hard reached areas has been preserved in better way.

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Essay Categories

such like oil rigs and residues of industrial chemicals
such as oil rigs and residues of industrial chemicals

had declined because predation.
had declined because of predators.

And they were eaten immediately.
Description: 'they' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.

Sentence: The article introduces two theories, the pollution and the predation. and it mentions that the pollution theory is the more likely of the two.
Error: predation Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: However, the professor disagrees with the article; she believes that the predation theory is the more likely.
Error: predation Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: And the absence of otter's dead bodies confirms that the sea otter's population had declined because predation.
Error: predation Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: However, the professor refutes this theory; she says that the uneven pattern of declining is better explained by the predation theory.
Error: predation Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Words: 304 250
Around 250 words wanted. Do you write the essay in 20 minutes?

Read sample essays from ETS:
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Need to use ' more likely' properly:
People are more likely to take precautions after last season's fires.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 18 12
No. of Words: 304 250
No. of Characters: 1530 1200
No. of Different Words: 147 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.176 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.033 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.414 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.1 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4