Can somebody help me to score this essay?

According to the e-grader, I should get 8.0. However, somebody reported that my essay only deserves 6.5.

Some people think that the government should pay one of the parents of very young children to stay at home to look after their children.
What do you think would be the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 word.

A dispute about whether a father or mother should be paid by the government to take care of their kids at home has been increasingly popular. The benefits of this rule are the facts that children be brought-up better and parents can save more money. However, children will not be able to interact with other youngsters, which in turn lead to psychological drawbacks.

To begin with, offsprings can definitely mature well if one of their parents looks after them. The primary reason is quite straightforward: kids tend to follow their parents rather than somebody they do not know. In addition, there is no need to pay for the child-minding services anymore, so some money can be used for other purposes instead. For example, in my country, I have noticed that children who grow under their parents’ supervision are able to differentiate between a good and a bad deed in their early ages. Hence, it is evident that the abovementioned law is a great idea.

Nonetheless, there are still possible dangerous risks. If children are confined in their homes with their parents all the time, they will rarely have a chance to spend quality time together with their friends. As a result, their social abilities are gradually downgraded since they cannot develop sufficient interpersonal skills. According to my observations, many infants who stay at home with their parents 85% of the time have a significant tough time at communicating with their peers. Authorities, therefore, must weight cautiously the grave impacts of such regulation.

In conclusion, this essay discussed some advantages and disadvantages of restricting children to be looked after by one of their parents. On one hand, parents are freed from after-school childcare costs and children could also mature better. On the other hand, children’s cognitive abilities are vulnerable of damages since they have no time to socialize.