Integrated essay
The passage is about the educational system in American schools which is derived from the European system and has 12 successive grades. The lecturer claims that such system has some flaws.
First, according to the passage, all children should start their school education at the age of six. However, the lecturer believes that in this way the individual differences between children in terms of social, mental, and physical readiness is neglected.
Moreover, it is inferred from the reading that students enter the intermediate school around the age of 12 which is concomitant with their puberty. The lecturer indicates that in intermediate schools the maturation inconsistencies between boys and girls are not fully considered and they are graded together in the same classes.
And last, the lecturer undermines the rationale of the whole system in the passage by underlining some facts. The students who cannot achieve the minimum requirements of each grade should repeat the whole year that is very boring and may increase the dropout rate. The evaluations do not examine the students individually. Furthermore, this system fails to adjust the education process according to individual capacity of different students. While some students are beyond the average of class and may be bored, others may not be able to understand the materials well.
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Comments
Would you please indicate the
Would you please indicate the problems with this essay? Because I want to eliminate the flaws?
flaws: No. of
flaws:
No. of Words: 213 250
More words wanted at the second and third paragraphs. You only have two sentences for one paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 9
No. of Words: 213 250
No. of Characters: 1112 900
No. of Different Words: 121 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.82 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.221 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.755 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.124 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.616 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5