TOEFL integrated writing: Chevalier de Seingalt

The article states that chevalier fabricated many events just to make his life more excited and attractive by many of people, and provides three reasons of support. However the professor explains that all the memoirs written by chevalier is accurate and reliable,and refutes each of the authors reasons.

first, the reading claims that chevalier lied about his wealth, because no one one who rich will borrowed money from Swiss merchant and what he said about the parties that he made them in Switzerland and spending a lot of money on them is just created from his imagination. However, the professor refutes this point by saying that he is not poor man, because it's true that he spended his money to make a party, she states that he have to wait until his cash money return back to him, after he sold his things.

Second, the article posits that all the memoirs that recorded the conservation between chevalier and Voltaire is not accurate and it's just what chevalier claimed. However the professor says that all the memoirs written by chevalier is true and it's kept for many years. According to the professor there is a proof of that, because there are witnesses whose confirm and consulted these memoirs.

Third, the reading says that chevalier is bribed man, he payed for Voltaire to escape him from prison in Venice-Italy. The professor opposes this point by explaining that the opening in the ceiling is an index of escaping Chevalier by himself using a piece of metal. she states that it's difficult to bribe a government man because they have powerful and they will not accept any money.

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Sentence: first, the reading claims that chevalier lied about his wealth, because no one one who rich will borrowed money from Swiss merchant and what he said about the parties that he made them in Switzerland and spending a lot of money on them is just created from his imagination.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to who and rich

Sentence: However, the professor refutes this point by saying that he is not poor man, because it's true that he spended his money to make a party, she states that he have to wait until his cash money return back to him, after he sold his things.
Error: spended Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 275 250
No. of Characters: 1301 1200
No. of Different Words: 134 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.072 4.3
Average Word Length: 4.731 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.35 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.121 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.446 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.713 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4