The issue of children’s health in recent days remains controversial. One of most remarkable factors that cause their higher level of unhealthiness is their unwholesome lifestyle. However, while some people share the belief that children theirselves have to deal with this problem, I totally agree the idea both parents and schools take the responsibility for it. Some reasons supporting my opinion will be under indication with the scope of this writing.
On one hand, parents are those who take main responsibility for children’s growth and maturity without a doubt. The first reason for it is that parents’ ways of teaching their children have influence on the young’s lifestyle. For example, some Vietnamese parents who regular spend whole day earning money tend to let their children self-educate, self-grow. They just give the young some money for entire day and come to work. As a consequence, what they eat and drink everyday can lead to their sickness. Even if that young people eat unnutrient food such as chese, fat, sugar, junk food and alcohol is not prevented, unfortunately it can become their habbits. The second reason is that children’s activities are mirror of parents’ ones because the young usually have a tend to follow what adults do. A son can follow his father to get drunk, a daughther can follow her mother’s staying up late. If adults do not take care of theirselves, their children will ignore health as well.
On the other hand, schools also are in charge of dealing with this problem. Firstly, children easily get affected by their educative environment. They are not old enough to know what is right and what is wrong. For instance, a boy can copy his bad friends to smoke, which leads him to some respiratory illnesses. Secondly, regulations in schools have troubles. The time getting started first period is too early for students to get to schools on time. As a result, students usually get drowsy in classes and do not focus on lessons. Not only does it have influence on their knowledge, but leads them to an unhealthiness lifestyle.
To sum up, both parents and schools contribute to build children’s lifestyle. Leading the young to wholesome lifestyle helps them not just to raise their awareness of health but shape their future life.
Votes
Essay reference notes: This topic is refereed from another essay topic, developed by user: Yora
Essay Categories
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 242, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...me people share the belief that children theirselves have to deal with this probl...
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Line 1, column 447, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll be under indication with the scope of this writing. On one hand, parents are ...
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Line 2, column 278, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a regular'.
Suggestion: who is a regular
...e. For example, some Vietnamese parents who regular spend whole day earning money tend to l...
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Line 2, column 483, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... a consequence, what they eat and drink everyday can lead to their sickness. Even if tha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 793, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...os; ones because the young usually have a tend to follow what adults do. A son can fol...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, well, while, for example, for instance, such as, as a result, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 7.0 171% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 1.00243902439 698% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 6.8 147% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 3.15609756098 253% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 35.0 5.60731707317 624% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 33.7804878049 127% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 3.97073170732 151% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1939.0 965.302439024 201% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 380.0 196.424390244 193% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10263157895 4.92477711251 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 3.73543355544 118% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94621570504 2.65546596893 111% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 106.607317073 195% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.547368421053 0.547539520022 100% => OK
syllable_count: 585.0 283.868780488 206% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 1.53170731707 261% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 4.33902439024 161% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 1.07073170732 467% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 8.94146341463 257% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 16.0 22.4926829268 71% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.2164231504 43.030603864 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.3043478261 112.824112599 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5217391304 22.9334400587 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.60869565217 5.23603664747 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 1.69756097561 295% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 3.70975609756 216% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 1.13902439024 527% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.09268292683 220% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306055388357 0.215688989381 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0886322814932 0.103423049105 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0751046003751 0.0843802449381 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197579162152 0.15604864568 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0760665350949 0.0819641961636 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 13.2329268293 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 61.2550243902 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.3012195122 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.0 11.4140731707 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.06136585366 95% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 40.7170731707 192% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.4329268293 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.9970731707 76% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.