TOEFL integrated writing: fuel-cell engines

The reading passage explains about the advantages and an alternative source of power for internal combustion engine in automobiles will be hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine. On the other hand the lecture talks about the demerits of using hydrogen-based fuel cell engine in automobiles and says that the reading is too optimistic about the hydrogen and it is not the solution to these problems.

First, the lecture says that the hydrogen is not easily available. The present substances in the hydrogen is harmful. It has to be obtained purely from liquid state present in the water. The technology is very difficult like for example as the speaker said it has to kept in high temperature like on -253 degree Celsius. It has to be in a very very cold temperature. It has an elaborate cooling technology.

Second, the speaker says that using hydrogen is very difficult. It has to go through various purification process like burning oil and coal which will pollute the environment.

Third, lastly the lecture says that hydrogen will not be any cost saving. It will be very expensive fuel-selling engine because the platinum involved in making the hydrogen is very expensive and any other material apart from platinum is impossible to use.

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Sentence: The technology is very difficult like for example as the speaker said it has to kept in high temperature like on -253 degree Celsius.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and kept

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 204 250
No. of Characters: 1011 1200
No. of Different Words: 104 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.779 4.3
Average Word Length: 4.956 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.784 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.363 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.619 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.167 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4