In this argument, the dean intends to secure better jobs for the students by eliminating its traditional practice of grading professors from students. To support this recommendation, the dean states the fact that students are getting higher grades after launching grading practice and students in Omega university do not perform as successful as Alpha university. Nevertheless, it seems that such a conclusion comes without enough concrete evidence. Here are some of the aspects that need to be further justified.
To begin with, this argument fails to establish connection between being successful at getting jobs and terminating grading evaluation. The author assumes that it is students getting inflated grades, that causes the low performance at job market. However, it is not convincing to claim so without providing the relations between the two incidents. To make us believe the conclusion, we need to know what is preventing students from being successful at getting jobs. On the contrary, a high grade would actually help a student to get a good job instead of resulting problems in getting jobs. Obviously, this argument fails to provide the root cause and relationship. Thus, it cannot be judged whether this recommendation is an effective one.
To continue with, the dean mentions that students are not as successful at job market as student from Alpha University. The definition of “success” is unclear. Does it mean the percentage of recruitment or the first year salary, or the reputation of recruiting company? We cannot find any evidence or comparation in this memo. Chances are overall students from Omega are reaching a higher recruiting percentage, while only falling short in the first year salary. Therefore, without clarifying what stands for success at getting jobs, we cannot simply make a conclusion so rashly.
Moreover, this argument is based on the practice implemented 15 years ago, which cannot reflect the current situation in the university. The author assumes that the grading practice and the high scores students are getting remain the same as today. Chances are the professor gives a fair score to each students regardless of how much grades of evaluation he gets from the students. Then the scores are actually reflecting the real performance of the students, which rebukes the claim that the grades are inflated.
In summary, this argument fails to give a clear introduction of the current evaluating system in the university, and how this practice will influence the grades of students. More importantly, how the score of the students will have an impact on getting good jobs. Until these questions are answered, we cannot justify that eliminating student evaluation of professors will contribute to getting better jobs.
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: We cannot find any evidence or comparation in this memo.
Error: comparation Suggestion: No alternate word
----------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 439 350
No. of Characters: 2270 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.577 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.171 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.78 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.292 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.712 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.458 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.483 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 460, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...hout enough concrete evidence. Here are some of the aspects that need to be further justifi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 277, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'claiming'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: claiming
...b market. However, it is not convincing to claim so without providing the relations betw...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 329, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...core to each students regardless of how much grades of evaluation he gets from the s...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, thus, while, as to, in summary, on the contrary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2338.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 439.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32574031891 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95089120176 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485193621868 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 714.6 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.764429329 57.8364921388 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.4166666667 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2916666667 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.91666666667 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159891184879 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0482232831965 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0493089329187 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0990832991861 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0423011546856 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.