Integrate writing
The reading passage states that the vessels that were discovered at Iraq may have not been used as electric batteries in ancient times, and gives several reasons to explain. However, the professor disagrees and opposes the points that the reading provides.
First, the reading states that it’s impossible that the vessels were used as batteries because there is no electric conductor such as metal wire. However, the lectures argues that it’s possible and the explanation is that these vessels were found by local people who were not expert, so chance is they would miss some parts of the vessels that might be the electric conductor and then these people might throw them away.
Second, the reading mentions that the copper cylinders that contained inside the vessels were the same shape as the copper cylinders that were discovered at the city nearby which served a function as a tool for holding scroll. So these vessels must be the same and must not be electric batteries. For this point, the speaker agree that it’s true in some points, however, the iron and clay inside the vessel could be applied for generate electricity, and adapted for another usage.
Finally, the reading proposes that there is no reason to have electric batteries at that time since there were not any devices to use. In contrast, the professor clarifies that actually this electric vessels could generate a mild energy and could cause a mild shock and people would think that it’s a magic power. Moreover, since today we use electric shock for medication purpose, then the ancient people may use it for healing same as nowadays.
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Comments
Click the button 'Edit', you
Click the button 'Edit', you will see 'essay topic in audio'. Then you can upload the audio over there.
When you submit new essays next time, you will see this feature too. It is a newly added feature because a lot of users have the same request.
Sentence: However, the
Sentence: However, the lectures argues that it's possible and the explanation is that these vessels were found by local people who were not expert, so chance is they would miss some parts of the vessels that might be the electric conductor and then these people might throw them away.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and they. should be 'is that they'
flaws:
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages or as less as possible.
Read sample essays from ETS and check out how they develop ideas:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 12
No. of Words: 271 250
No. of Characters: 1311 1200
No. of Different Words: 134 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.057 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.838 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.199 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.271 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.424 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.661 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Hi,
I have an audio, but not sure where to attach it?