The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the preceding statement, the author claims that installing high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg will help in reducing the crime rate among the district. Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument , based on several questionable premises and assumptions , and based solely on the evidence the author offers, we cannot accept the argument as valid.
The primary issue with the author’s reasoning lies in his unsubstantiated premises. The author assume that the only thing could reduce the crime rate is installing the lighting throughout the city , even though there are many other factors could be reasons for increasing the vandalism in the city. I think the city need to have more information about the kind of crimes and how much sufficiency of the police who deal with these crimes. The author ‘s premises, the basis for his argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.
In addition , the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. He assumes that the two cities are similar and both of them will have the same result which is reducing the crime rate by installing high-intensity lighting throughout the cities. With the lack of information about the Amburg city , we cannot accept this similarity. Amburg city could not have enough budget for this installation or enough electrical power to provide all this area like Belleville . The author needs to provide more information about the city so he can prove his conclusion.
While the author has several key issues in his argument’s premise and assumptions that is not to say that the entire argument is without the base. Increasing crime rate would cause declining neighborhoods in any city but at the same time we need to take in advantage there are many other factors that the city need to give an attention for it. Low economy, unemployment rates, or low levels of education could be different reason for keeping people away from the city.
In sum, the author’s illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and in substantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. It is not guaranteed that installing high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg will increase the crime rate in the area, , unless the author provides more information about the city and have recently study about the other factors. If the author truly hopes to change his reader’s minds on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix his flaws in his logic, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
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Sentence: The author assume that the only thing could reduce the crime rate is installing the lighting throughout the city , even though there are many other factors could be reasons for increasing the vandalism in the city.
Description: The fragment author assume that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace assume with verb, past tense
flaws:
Your language is great but the writing style for argument essays has problems. You need to find out flaws from the statement and argue. for example, for this essay:
statement 1: Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month.
argument 1: There may have been factors other than just the lighting that caused the decline in vandalism
statement 2: The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant.
argument 2: the arguer does not state whether the cities and business districts of Belleville and Amburg are similar to each other or very different.
statement 3: By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city.
argument 3: even assuming that the lighting would reduce crime, a reduction in crime does not automatically result in a revitalized neighborhood
You can take a look at other top essays:
http://www.testbig.com/essays-list?keys=Amburg+&tid=3
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 2170 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.118 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.727 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.764 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.151 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5