TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The passage and the lecture are both mainly related to the advantages of electronic medical records over traditional paper-based record keeping. The passage gives three aspects to support the efforts of adopting electronic medical record systems, while the lecture argues that the advantages of the electronic records listed are all not justified.

To begin with, the passage states that the electronic medical record systems could reduce costs by decreasing the storage space and the prices of copying or faxing those records. On the contrary, the lecture argues that doctors are customed to back up the paper forms for latter examination. In this case, even the details are stored into the electronic medical record systems, the paper-based records still leave and take up the space.

Meanwhile, the passage suggests that electronic systems are of vital importance to reduce the mistakes of the records, since many handwriting faults or so are made by recording with paper form, and the process of organizing these paper records is also easy to make errors, too. On the other hand, the lecture illustrates that almost all the information recording in the electronic systems are initially written on paper and transferred to electronic form latter on. Thus, there is no business for electronic medical record systems to reduce such medical errors.

Besides, the passage puts forth that it is beneficial for researchers if the electronic medical record systems are used, as they could access and investigates the big data of medical information easily. However, this idea is also challenged by the lecutre , which says there are stict laws to restrict the access of the data of patients.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 256, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s idea is also challenged by the lecutre , which says there are stict laws to rest...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, however, if, so, still, thus, while, on the contrary, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 10.4613686534 124% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 12.0772626932 58% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 22.412803532 54% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 30.3222958057 115% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1426.0 1373.03311258 104% => OK
No of words: 270.0 270.72406181 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28148148148 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.05360046442 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64516197061 2.5805825403 103% => OK
Unique words: 138.0 145.348785872 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.511111111111 0.540411800872 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 459.9 419.366225166 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 3.25607064018 31% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 13.0662251656 77% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 21.2450331126 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.422713136 49.2860985944 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.6 110.228320801 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 21.698381199 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1 7.06452816374 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.590659813812 0.272083759551 217% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.280333753094 0.0996497079465 281% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118770389817 0.0662205650399 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.397798796804 0.162205337803 245% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0759924411745 0.0443174109184 171% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 13.3589403974 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 53.8541721854 66% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 11.0289183223 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.2367328918 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.42419426049 104% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 63.6247240618 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.7273730684 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.498013245 122% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.2008830022 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.