the diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features and make any relevant comparisons.
The diagram demonstrate on how chocolate are made and how prices are distributed in relation to the production of chocolate.
Firstly, cocoa gone into a process of grinding. After grinding the cocoa comes in two different form. First, it becomes liquour form and waste product. The liquor form then proceed into the next process which is pressing. Otherwise, cocoa liquor can be directly by chocolate industry to make chocolate bar. In addition, sugar and other ingredients should be added on for chocolate bar. On the other side, cocoa liquor that pass through the process of pressing will end up to become cocoa powder and cocoa butter. In this way, the cocoa butter can be added in the process of chocolate bar making, hence the cocoa powder will be utilized by food industry company for their purpose.
generally, chocolate is priced based on their production process. It shows that most of the cost is use for ingredients and the overheads which consist of 37% of total price. Supermarket plays an important role in chocolate pricing next to its production cost by 34%. Tax 15% followed by chocolate company 10%.
In conclusion, for company to make a better income, they should reduce the cost of ingredient and overheads.
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Sentence: The diagram demonstrate on how chocolate are made and how prices are distributed in relation to the production of chocolate.
Description: The fragment diagram demonstrate on is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace demonstrate with verb, past tense
cocoa gone into a process of grinding.
cocoa goes into a process of grinding.
Sentence: Otherwise, cocoa liquor can be directly by chocolate industry to make chocolate bar.
Description: The fragment be directly by is rare
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.714 21.0
Don't make something new which are not from the diagrams:
'In conclusion, for company to make a better income, they should reduce the cost of ingredient and overheads.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 206 200
No. of Characters: 991 1000
No. of Different Words: 109 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.788 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.811 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.533 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 70 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 54 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.595 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4