Most people believe money is a very important consideration when choosing a job as it can help you get a better lifestyle; However,there are some who believe it is more important to have a job you enjoy and that this,and a more balanced personal life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The issue of whether it is better to choose a job considering money more important than joy is a very controversial one. On one hand, supporters of the idea that joy is most important believe that a enjoyable job brings balance to your personal life and gives more satisfaction to others. On the other hand, critics of this, maintain that money is a very important factor when choosing a job. However after a very careful consideration, I maintain the opinion that is better to choose a job that I enjoy rather than choose a job only for money.
To begin with, a enjoyable job brings balance to my personal life, which is very important in order to give the best attention to my customers. I work in a pharmacy as pharmacy technician, my work require an extensive attention to the patients. For example, people go to the pharmacy in order to receive medicines to release their pain or sickness. I enjoy very much my work because after every patient finish a short travel through the pharmacy I always receive in immediately feed back, my best gift are thanks words. Such enjoyable work let me delight my personal life at home. I never complained about the long ten hours that I have to work daily. There are not doubt that taking a good time in a job is very beneficial for our personal life.
On the other hand, a job chosen considering money as the most important factor do not give pleasure to me and even to others. If a have to go to work every day to a place where I am not going to be comfortable at all, I will consider this as a failure in my personal and professional life. Money could give me a balanced personal life but it does not mean that it could give me joy in my job. Talking about my job as a pharmacy technician again, money would not make me feel happy and as a result I would not give my patients the best attention and care they deserve. As a result, money is not the best criteria to follow choosing a job.
In sum, although some people choose a job for money in order to have a more balanced personal life I believe that joy is the principal standard to follow choosing a job. Enjoyable jobs bring people happiness.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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The issue of whether it is better to ch...
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The issue of whether it is better to choose a job considering...
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...onsidering money more important than joy is a very controversial one. On one hand...
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...s of the idea that joy is most important believe that a enjoyable job brings bala...
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Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
...of the idea that joy is most important believe that a enjoyable job brings balance to ...
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...hat joy is most important believe that a enjoyable job brings balance to your pe...
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Suggestion: However,
...y important factor when choosing a job. However after a very careful consideration, I m...
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...ul consideration, I maintain the opinion that is better to choose a job that I e...
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..., I maintain the opinion that is better to choose a job that I enjoy rather than...
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...ther than choose a job only for money. To begin with, a enjoyable job brings ba...
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...a job only for money. To begin with, a enjoyable job brings balance to my pers...
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...harmacy in order to receive medicines to release their pain or sickness. I enjoy ...
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...heir pain or sickness. I enjoy very much my work because after every patient fini...
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Suggestion: short travel
...work because after every patient finish a short travel through the pharmacy I always receive i...
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...t the long ten hours that I have to work daily. There are not doubt that taking a...
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...e not doubt that taking a good time in a job is very beneficial for our personal ...
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...very beneficial for our personal life. On the other hand, a job chosen consider...
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Suggestion: to consider
...fe. On the other hand, a job chosen considering money as the most important factor do n...
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...st important factor do not give pleasure to me and even to others. If a have to g...
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...I am not going to be comfortable at all, I will consider this as a failure in my ...
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... professional life. Money could give me a balanced personal life but it does no...
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... could give me a balanced personal life but it does not mean that it could give...
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...personal life but it does not mean that it could give me joy in my job. Talking ...
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...ob as a pharmacy technician again, money would not make me feel happy and as a r...
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... pharmacy technician again, money would not make me feel happy and as a result I...
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...est criteria to follow choosing a job. In sum, although some people choose a jo...
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...n sum, although some people choose a job for money in order to have a more balanc...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, so, for example, talking about, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1755.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 398.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.40954773869 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56631571796 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.429648241206 0.524837075471 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 577.8 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.6527384128 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1111111111 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.27777777778 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 27.0 5.5376344086 488% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.3620270099 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.139299979734 0.076458572812 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101319855155 0.0737576698707 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.273985032377 0.150856017488 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.124531070996 0.0645574589148 193% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.3 10.9000537634 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.83 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 86.8835125448 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.