The Board of Directors of Monarch Books recommend Monarch Books to open a café to attract more customers. At the first glance, this recommendation seems logical. However, presented this way, the recommendation cannot be fully supported as it rests upon a couple of unsolved questions. If the Board of Directors of Monarch Books address these questions in consideration of the following points, it will make an even more compelling case for this recommendation.
First, in this recommendation the author does not explain explicitly why opening a café would attract more customers. It is possible that Monarch Books locates near a traffic hub and most of its customers are passersby who have limited time in buying books. In such a case, the café will not attract many customers as most of them do not have time. Further, some other aspects may be questioned regarding what are the most popular kinds of books, what is the age distribution of all its customers or people of which occupation tend to come more frequently because the behaviors and attitudes of different customer groups towards café may vary. In order to strengthen the validity of this recommendation, these questions needs to be answered.
Second, the author wrongly consider the decline in the percentage of the population under age ten indicates children’s book will be less popular. However, the result of the census is too general and does not provide any detail information. To illustrate, it is plausible the percentage of children in the region where Monarch Books locates is higher than that of any other regions in the country and the average decline in the percentage of children is caused by the decline in other regions. Another scenario may be the population of children in this country was very large. Even the percentage has declined, there are still many children. Therefore, more information are required to rule out these possibilities and make the recommendation more cogent.
Finally, based on the aforementioned points, the author proceeds to propose a far-fetched assertion that opening a café will help Monarch Books to better compete with Regal Books which also opened a café recently. Objection could be raised on the ground that the two book stores may locates in different areas and there is little overlap on their customers. So the two stores may not have much competition in business. Thus it is meaningless for Monarch Books to build a café.
In summary, although the author’s argument is not entirely invalid, the information included is not sufficient to fully support the recommendation. To strengthen it, more details should be provided following the above points.
- "We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening 85
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- The following appeared in a memo to the board of directors of Bargain Brand Cereals."One year ago we introduced our first product, Bargain Brand breakfast cereal. Our very low prices quickly drew many customers away from the top-selling cereal companies. 68
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2186 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.025 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.849 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.333 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 420, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... not have much competition in business. Thus it is meaningless for Monarch Books to ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, second, so, still, then, therefore, thus, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2259.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 435.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19310344828 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97938129616 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505747126437 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.666630482 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.571428571 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7142857143 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.14285714286 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299414652125 0.218282227539 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0853672443855 0.0743258471296 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0785863701786 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161554604253 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0716193438125 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.