Some people think that children should begin their formal education at an early age and should most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
"The most important case for parent's thought is thinking about children's future", the philosopher of 378 to 322 century, Plato said. In time of descendant, training youths always are first priority because fathers and their immature destinies tied from now on the eternity. In some cultures, destinies will continue till the next world so that parents will oblige to tolerate as the result of the children sin. So, clearly their future also becomes determinant even for parents as independent persons in life. The basis of my idea elaborates personally and socially.
Personally, at the first glimpse, although attending in classes seems vain, its result do not brief just in their would-be work place. For example, maybe studying history appropriates for knowing about some Queens and kings, who dominated before; however, they will also familiar with praiseworthy actions on which most of them broke down. Either they can practice what they learn from past, or they can go through much better ways, less experienced by anyone.
Socially speaking, just playing games cannot improve social abilities. They not only cannot diagnosis their genuine talents, but also stay back from their classmates due to unaware of fresh news happened in schools. As an illustration, majority of schools have various programs for promoting diverse skills; not presenting in classes just deprive them from much needed requirements, useful for their futures.
All in all, to put the issue into a nut shell, what provides in education systems is not just about passing course; but, social clans mostly form at these years.
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2013-10-31 | hajarisfahan | 63 | view |
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Sentence: They not only cannot diagnosis their genuine talents, but also stay back from their classmates due to unaware of fresh news happened in schools.
Description: 'They not only cannot diagnosis' is rare
its result do not brief just in their would-be work place.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence?
Either they can practice what they learn from past, or they can go through much better ways, less experienced by anyone.
They can either practice what they learn from past, or go through much better ways, less experienced by anyone.
flaws:
No. of Words: 256 350
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 256 350
No. of Characters: 1308 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.109 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.463 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.908 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5