Our children are considered one of the most aspects in our lives. Recently, parents use many different ways to treat their kids. Many people I am sure would believe that giving money for kids when they get a high score at school is a great idea, while others would disagree. However, when it comes to me I totally agree that it is a perfect manner to give money to children when they get a high grades. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explain in the following essay.
To begin with, giving money to children when they get high scores will motivate them. Many children are caring about their subjects and they always try to do their best to get better score. Also, many of them are waiting for a reward from their parents by the end of the year. For instance, my little daughter is ten years old and she got grade A+ last year. indeed, My husband and i decided to give her money as a gift. in addition, she used this money to buy a bike that she always dreamed off. We saw they she was so happy and she was so motivated to do her best by the following year. Moreover, she felt that we were appreciated her effort all year long. So, she started to study more and focus on her subjects to keep her good performance. As a result, she got awesome scores this year too. On the other hand, if we ignored her she would be careless and demotivated. This experience taught me that we can improve and motivate our kids by giving them money when they get a perfect mark at their assignments.
In addition, giving money to kids will help them in the future. Nowadays, many parents are so caring about their children future and Many students need more money when they get older. For example, My brother just moved to new city to join the college. Moreover, he started to live in the dorm. I remember when my brother was young he was a clever students and my parents used to give him money when he achieve his goal at school. Moreover, my brother used to save these rewards at saving box since he was five years old. Furthermore, when my brother graduated from the high school and he started to join the university he open that box to use the money. In fact, I can say that my brother can pay the rent and he can cover all his expenses from that saving money. In addition, my parents are not worry about him. This is because he learnt how to save money and he has enough to cover all his duties. Nevertheless, If my parent did not do that, he could not join the college and he could not afford the rent in the dorm. As you can see, kids who used to earn money as supportive emotion regardless their great effort as school, they can grantee a good future.
In sum, I strongly agree that parents should get money for their great achievements at school. This is because this will help them to be motivated and keep their performance, and because they will grantee better future. Finally, we have to encourage parents to give money for their kids as present for their success in school.
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- TPO-25 - Integrated Writing Task 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 89, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...cts in our lives. Recently, parents use many different ways to treat their kids. Many people I...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 356, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gree that it is a perfect manner to give money to children when they get a high g...
^^
Line 3, column 360, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Indeed
...ars old and she got grade A+ last year. indeed, My husband and i decided to give her m...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 383, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...de A+ last year. indeed, My husband and i decided to give her money as a gift. in...
^
Line 3, column 422, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
... i decided to give her money as a gift. in addition, she used this money to buy a ...
^^
Line 5, column 197, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... money when they get older. For example, My brother just moved to new city to joi...
^^
Line 5, column 404, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'achieves'.
Suggestion: achieves
... parents used to give him money when he achieve his goal at school. Moreover, my brothe...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, furthermore, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, so, while, for example, for instance, i feel, in addition, in fact, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 105.0 43.0788530466 244% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2431.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 560.0 407.700716846 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.34107142857 4.8611393121 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.8645985582 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.22397003793 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.414285714286 0.524837075471 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 748.8 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 22.0 9.59856630824 229% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.6003584229 155% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.9968849351 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 75.96875 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5625 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 24.0 11.8709677419 202% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256117328004 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0742830411238 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.058473688174 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1849917748 0.150856017488 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036422325487 0.0645574589148 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.8 11.7677419355 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.6 10.9000537634 70% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.43 8.01818996416 80% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.