The diagrams below show two methofs of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Methods of water processing to produce electricity are showed in the pictures. The diagrams examine two methods of electricity, there are; hydroelectric dam and wave-air generator.
First process is hydroelectric dam which use water to produce electricity. There is reservoir which is place of water when the raining fell in the earth, the water come to reservoir. From reservoir, water is controlled by valve which a tool can open and close based on the capacity of water. Valve controls amount of water and distribute to the penstock where width and angle of speed water up to turbine.
When water come to turbine where volume of water is stable and water turns the turbine and spindle. The highest volume of water it makes the fastest the turbine rotates, so when turbine rotates which produce an electric power. The electric power will distributed to line power lines. The electric power obtains benefit for humans such source of lighting in the city. However, the water will come back into river.
Second process is wave-air generator which has flow process the water entre from the lower chamber. The water give air which energy to rotate spindle faster, because rapidity of spindle running which means that more higher the generator produce electric power. The air run out from upper chamber, then in the upper chamber also can release air to enter into chamber for rotating spindle. It is as the second way to get more air to rotate spindle faster, although it will work when the weather produces highest wind usually in the summer season. As a result, the generator will produce electric power based on the air which is the main power to provide electricity.
In conclusion, both of processes have existed in some countries to produce electricity as a main source for electric power. Public transports and facilities get electricity between hydroelectric dam and wave-air generator.
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Sentence: The water give air which energy to rotate spindle faster, because rapidity of spindle running which means that more higher the generator produce electric power.
Description: The fragment water give air is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: The air run out from upper chamber, then in the upper chamber also can release air to enter into chamber for rotating spindle.
Description: The fragment air run out is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace run with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Words: 313 200 (write the essay in 20 minutes)
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 10
No. of Words: 313 200
No. of Characters: 1546 1000
No. of Different Words: 145 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.939 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.459 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.579 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4