Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In recent times, there has been a widespread debate on whether famous entertainers deserve to have more privacy or not. While some people believe that celebrities should keep their life open to public and do not hide anything, I hold the opposite view. I think entertainers should have more privacy in their life than they have now.
To begin with, when celebrities have more privacy, they will be more focus on their work. They will be able to concentrate better and avoid any distractions that might have negative effect on their performance or career. For example, when Maradona’s private life was observed from the public and many journalists, he put all his effort to fight with these people instead of focusing on his soccer matches. His life was destroyed when everyone knew his private life. After only few months, he was not able to do his duty with his team, so he quit from practicing soccer. Another good example is Serena Williams, when the media knew about her secret boyfriend, she got upset and she tended to speak sharply with the media. This distraction made her tennis performance in the last competition weak. She was not focused on the competition, so she lost her first game. Obviously, when celebrities have their privacy, they would concentrate on their jobs.
In addition to not being focusing on their work, when celebrities do not have privacy in their life, they will lose their popularities. Everyone will know about their bad habits and attitude that they do in their home, so some fans will hate them. For instance, Maili Cyires when her fans knew about her drinking and smoking habits in front of her parents, she lost her popularity. Moreover, when they knew about her bad attitude such as taking trash to her father, they did not respect her at all.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that famous people should keep their life secret. This is because they will be more focus on their work, and they will keep their popularity as well.
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2020-01-26 | mashghanbar | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 956, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., they would concentrate on their jobs. In addition to not being focusing on the...
^^^
Line 3, column 500, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ather, they did not respect her at all. In conclusion, I strongly believe that f...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, moreover, so, well, while, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, in conclusion, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1640.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 339.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83775811209 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29091512845 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48612197293 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507374631268 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 501.3 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.1701207127 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.1111111111 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8333333333 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88888888889 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175906652281 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0755996681118 0.076458572812 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0920822608823 0.0737576698707 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135854367045 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0925968757304 0.0645574589148 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.