Since the invention of TV, It played vital role in each society. We learn lot of thing about the world from TV by the help of tv programs .Today’s world, some people hold the view that it should be forbidden to watch it under the age of 5. However, others take an opposite view and think that to forbid tv is not the solution. From my vantage point, I concur with the former group the line will shed on light my view point.
The first exquisite point to mention to say is that TV programs encourage violence. In our modern times, there are lots of TV shows which adults like to watch them on the TV. Moreover, main characters in these programs becomes kids role model if they watch it. It dangerous for children especially under age of 5 since they pretend like them. A vivid example is one of my own experience. My 4 years old boy watches pikatcu, a famous comic movie, and imitates it. What if, pikatcu starts to fly. It might be dangerous for him.
In approaching this issue, apart from what above, there is another subtle point must borne in mind. TV programs damaged kid’s mental healthy. A refreshingly intelligible statistics revealed by recent research which conducted at MIT University. IT shows that some babies who watch baby’s comic programs at risk of mental illness. Watching long hours them damaged their brain and becomes less active. According to study, babies who do not watch them shows much resistance some brain disorders.
To wrap it up, once can conclude that TV effects kids world adversely. I believe that parent should not allow the watch it and should play them instead of watching it. Having time and playing game will be much happy kids than comics programs
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- TOEFL TPO 11 - Integrated Writing Task 78
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 146, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...world from TV by the help of tv programs .Today's world, some people hold the...
^^
Line 1, column 148, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Today&apos
...rld from TV by the help of tv programs .Today's world, some people hold the view that...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 324, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to like'
Suggestion: to like
...ially under age of 5 since they pretend like them. A vivid example is one of my own ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 412, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rience, my 4 years old boy watch pikatcu ,a famous comic movie, and imitates it. ...
^^^
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ence, my 4 years old boy watch pikatcu ,a famous comic movie, and imitates it. W...
^^
Line 5, column 86, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[2]
Message: Did you mean 'have borne' or 'bear'?
Suggestion: have borne; bear
...ove, there is another subtle point must borne in mind. TV programs damaged kid'...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, so, apart from
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1409.0 1977.66487455 71% => OK
No of words: 299.0 407.700716846 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71237458194 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1583189471 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44393974294 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.612040133779 0.524837075471 117% => OK
syllable_count: 411.3 618.680645161 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.9901597285 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 70.45 100.406767564 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.95 20.6045352989 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.7 5.45110844103 31% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0495300802513 0.236089414692 21% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.015110581892 0.076458572812 20% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0206705281744 0.0737576698707 28% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0334038554463 0.150856017488 22% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.014154561492 0.0645574589148 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.2 11.7677419355 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 58.1214874552 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.45 10.9000537634 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.