A foreign visitor wants to visit your country and has only one day to spend Where should the visitor go on that day Why

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A foreign visitor wants to visit your country and has only one day to spend. Where should the visitor go on that day? Why?

Being so big and broad, my country has a lot of enchanting and attractive places for a tourist to visit. These places can be divided in three independent categories like natural, historical and cultural. However, this selection completely depends on what he likes to visit in this short time. This is important to select one type of these choices because each of them is placed in a different corner of my homeland.

Firstly, if a tourist is interested in natural scene and landscapes, I strongly suggest him to visit the north of my country where is surrounded by the Caspian Sea from north and the Alborz mountains in south. The nice climate in this part of my country, as so many people said, is so pleasant and the cool weather made these natural scenes so fantastic. The only thing he has to do is to enjoy the heaven that his eyes see.

Furthermore, my country is full of historical places and monarch monuments from past reigns since 2500 years ago. Besides, there are more enchanting architectural places that really and undoubtedly worth to visit at least once. For this job, he has to take a trip to the central and southern part of my country. I propose him visit the remnants of great palaces of Persepolis, the capital of powerful kingdom of Achaemenian, and the tomb of Cyrus the great.

On the other hand, if a tourist likes to get more familiar with my culture and know a little bit about overall situation of my country, he has better to visit the capital of my country. This proposal is because of so many spectacular places like governmental buildings, embassies, national museums and old buildings that are located there. He can easily wander through the city and receive some information either from passing people or by visiting cultural places. Afterwards, he may go to the exciting recreational sites found uptown, eat a traditional food of my country, bungee and ride a chairlifts.

All in all, being one of the most ancient civilizations on earth, my country has endless spectacular and attractive places to visit that are divided into natural, historical and cultural ones from which one can choose among them for a one day tour and visit them. Not only exciting, but also eye catching places satisfy every foreign visitor of my country, nevertheless; there may rise a problem with the issue of Hijab for women!

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2013-12-04 leox 92 view
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flaws:
Don't put something new at the conclusion: nevertheless; there may rise a problem with the issue of Hijab for women!

Be sensitive to use 'On the other hand', 'However','Nonetheless', 'But' in the essays.

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Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
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No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 405 350
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No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.662 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.602 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.494 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5