In 2008, a propaganda video of Chinese iamge was shown on the big screen on the Time Square, and I learned from the reports in press that the video provided a good chance for foreign people to get some knowledge about China. Contrary to the mainstream media, I felt doubted about the real effect of the video: does a collection of celebrities in different fields present the whole Chinese people? The aspects of viewing history vary from person to person. Nontherless, I agree that the effects of viewing a country through its famous figures are very limited. Other things,like economic level and education, howeve,r provide a more vivid picture of the common people's daily life.
No one feels strange about the term GDP, which measuring a country's productivity. Indeed, social scientists always refer economic data when they study peopel's life in a nation. For example, in almost every scholar study about the great dynasty,Tang(during the 8th century), scholars usually add weight to the ascription of the economic boom to explain its culture development, the poet creation reached its peak in that time. The greatness of a nation or a period does not reflect from less the achievment of its elites than the social improvment. The great achievement, however, is just the benefector of such improvement. Therefore, I believe that to judge a nation's achievement, one should focus on its general welfare rather than the social elites.
Yet the celebrities' contribution to the view cannot be ignored for celebties leave the direct impression on common pepple in the latter time. Unlike scholars, they have no path to history decoments, and thus, their impression are just based on the some specific historic events. When talking about the Victorcians, the first reaction of us might be some titans in literature, Bacon or Shakespear. For ordinary people, what shakespears said was just what they thought the ordinary people said. I admit that we have soem biases when viewing the history, so that concenration on the famous people does not have much benefit for us to get some kenoledge of a glory period. Probably that helps to explain why the public always misinterpret the history of a nation.
It is undoubted that the achievement of famous people does provides some valuable reference when we judge a nation's greatness. Although the study of famous people is indispensible, I do believe that the concentration should shift to some general things, economy, eduction, medicine level or argriculture for these facts are deeply involved in people's life, and thus, is a good witness of history.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 573, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , like
...s figures are very limited. Other things,like economic level and education, howeve,r ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 615, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , r
...ike economic level and education, howeve,r provide a more vivid picture of the com...
^^
Line 3, column 244, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Tangduring
...ry scholar study about the great dynasty,Tangduring the 8th century, scholars usually add w...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 339, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t to the ascription of the economic boom to explain its culture development, the ...
^^
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'nations'' or 'nation's'?
Suggestion: nations'; nation's
...t. Therefore, I believe that to judge a nations achievement, one should focus on its g...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 692, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... judge a nations achievement, one should focus on its general welfare rather than...
^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...ther than the social elites. Yet the celebrities contribution to the view cannot be igno...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 249, Rule ID: THE_SOME_DAY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'same'?
Suggestion: same
... their impression are just based on the some specific historic events. When talking ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 109, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'nations'' or 'nation's'?
Suggestion: nations'; nation's
...some valuable reference when we judge a nations greatness. Although the study of famous...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, so, therefore, thus, for example, talking about
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 58.6224719101 89% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2174.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 426.0 442.535393258 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10328638498 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79822052951 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 215.323595506 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551643192488 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 677.7 704.065955056 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.6708433635 60.3974514979 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.421052632 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4210526316 23.4991977007 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.78947368421 5.21951772744 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144929293483 0.243740707755 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0464291474562 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0478877746265 0.0758088955206 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0884213171885 0.150359130593 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0600844625222 0.0667264976115 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 100.480337079 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.