What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
“Why everything becomes so boredom!” This statement is what most people of my hometown have on their tongues. They mostly complaint about routineness of the daily life; exhaust by everything; and commonly pick on every tiny problem created in their life. All are of the signs of emptiness; however, why, then, despite of all mentioned contagious pains, someone do not think about solving this problem? If I were in governmental agent shoes, I would change the entertainment condition of my city due to improvement of social spirits of people and promotion of condition for creating outlets of their feelings.
The first that worth to be outlined is that whether individuals be educated, whether they live on their youth period or elder time; or whether they are male or female, all mostly enjoy with their type. Therefore, they require spaces in which they can find, match, and continue with each other. For example, in music clubs, all musicians come together; since they have similar souls, they speak together, play together, and have fun “together”. Had such spaces built by agents, such numbness sense would have never arisen in my hometown.
Additionally, in my home town void of entertaining environments overly can be sensed. As an illustration, some implements such as, Skydiving, Jumping, and exciting tools will be extremely practical for increasing outlet situations of there. Either people can discharge their feelings as best as it’s possible, or they can separate, though a short break, from routineness of life. So, such entertaining areas will be so vital in increasing quality of a society like my hometown.
All in all, I contended that entertaining alternation is what my hometown really need. For who have such dearth in their places, isn’t that what they think, right?
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For who have such dearth in their places,
For those who have such dearth in their places,
whether individuals be educated
whether individuals should be educated
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 293 350
No. of Characters: 1443 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.137 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.925 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.659 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.873 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5