My essay application with fearning about my educational goals and aspirations, my achievements and honours, my academic and religious background, my special interests and experiences, and anything else
When I was 7 years old, and I had a dream to be a doctor. Being one is not only my dream but also my parents’ moreover my mom.
In the current day electronics have empowered, especially in the field of information and communication are very popular for all age genre which is certainly related with our eyes. Sophistication of informations and communications technologies are very helpful, also have a particularly negative impact on the health of our eyes. Therefore, I want to help people as optometry to take care of their eyes properly, notably my big family. It is because my family is a glasses family. So, they can enjoy the world with healthy eyes.
During my High School, I was occupy in science class which is for three years in a row. I got the champion class. Then, when the new school year is coming. I received an award as the best performce students in my generation. Recently, in Januarry shift the semester I got another award as the best performing students. Alhamdulillah, I feel delighted in high school, when I was going to end I regained got award (Now I was still in high school and facing a national examination to achieve my graduation in May)
In addition to the school is involved in science, I also loved IT and arts. I once took a training in one of the webmasters best courses, and I managed to graduate with good value. In arts, I was one of the best traditional dancers who represent schools from primary, junior high school, and high school. I also have a hobby in photography since junior high school and I've been following a couple of times photography contest.
With all the achievements and hobbies that I had, my parents and family always told me worship is number one, no matter how busy I did, never leave praying and asking for forgiveness and protection from Allah Subhanawataala, because all I had accomplished and what belongs to me only from Allah Subhanawataala
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2013-12-23 | Asha Magenta | 60 | view |
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Sentence: During my High School, I was occupy in science class which is for three years in a row.
Description: The token was is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to was and occupy
specially in the field of information and communication are very popular
Description: what is the subject for this sentence?
In addition to the school is involved in science,
Description: what is the subject for this sentence?
Sentence: Recently, in Januarry shift the semester I got another award as the best performing students.
Description: The fragment Januarry shift the is rare
I've been following a couple of times photography contest.
I've been following the photography contest a couple of times.
Sentence: I received an award as the best performce students in my generation.
Error: performce Suggestion: performance
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 339 350
No. of Characters: 1529 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.291 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.51 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.843 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.808 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5