At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Over the past few decades, the entire world has experienced a population boom which has resulted in an unbalanced number of adolescents and senior citizens. While some completely support this change, others think that it is extremely disadvantageous for the society. I believe that the benefits of this trend overshadow its shortcomings.

To begin with, the primary demerit of this development is the unavailability of jobs for the younger generation. In other words, as the number of individuals finding jobs would increase, so would the difficulty in acquiring one which would hamper people from earning their livelihood. To illustrate, in the IT sector, the number of graduates have increased tremendously but the amount of employment opportunities have remained constant.

Despite of this, there are significant merits of this trend. Firstly, it would result in depletion of the orthodox views of the society. To elaborate, as the population of youngsters would increase, they would bring into light modern ideas and get rid of the baseless opinions and customs of the society which would pave way for a better tomorrow. Such a change is of extreme importance in the developing nations which are prone to conventional attitudes.

Moreover, the economy of the country where such a trend occurs would be greatly benefited. To elaborate, the younger population would come up with new business ideas which would result in setting up of new companies boosting the nation's economic development. To exemplify, facebook, a social media giant was established by Mark Zuckerberg who was only 19 years old at the time of the company's inception.

To conclude, I would therefore argue that although this development of a greater amount of younger generation has some demerits, they are outweighed by the advantages. This can enrich the condition of a country to a great extent.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 304, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'IT'?
Suggestion: the; IT
...ing their livelihood. To illustrate, in the IT sector, the number of graduates have in...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... the time of the companys inception. To conclude, I would therefore argue that ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, moreover, so, therefore, while, in other words, to begin with, to a great extent

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 13.1623246493 68% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 24.0651302605 79% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1582.0 1615.20841683 98% => OK
No of words: 299.0 315.596192385 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29096989967 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1583189471 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02395147157 2.80592935109 108% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 176.041082164 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.581939799331 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 495.9 506.74238477 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.76152304609 210% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.1998033427 49.4020404114 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.466666667 106.682146367 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9333333333 20.7667163134 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 7.06120827912 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149706436533 0.244688304435 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0509888105291 0.084324248473 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0297210504867 0.0667982634062 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0881964043315 0.151304729494 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0328637311414 0.056905535591 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 13.0946893788 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 50.2224549098 87% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.4159519038 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.49 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 78.4519038076 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.