The diagram shows a process urbanization and the reason of human move to city.
First, Human migrate to cities from the countryside in search of a better life because they think that cities offer great employment possibilities and higher standard of living.
Next, people use car for transportation to move in cities. The car use fuel so the car can move from rural to urban. Cities are their purpose to change their life. They hope that they can get better life than they stay in village, so they can be happier in the future. Long dry season has befallen their village, so there is poor harvest. The accident cause a number of disadvantages for inhabitant in town, so it strengthen some people’s longing to move to cities in search of job opportunities.
The last, in cities, most companies have high standard of requirement for worker so people from countryside find problem to get work in cities. For example, one the role is that someone have to have experiences for minimum 1 or 2 years in the position, and their graduated is minimum upper secondary graduate or bachelor of degree graduate. Other drawback of living in cities is that there are over crowding and poor quality housing. The consequence of overcrowding is a rising crime rate as poor living conditions may lead young people in particular to take desperate measures and turn to crime or drugs. Poorly heated or damp housing could cause significant health problems, resulting in illness, such as bronchitis or pneumonia. Beside that cities lack a sense of community, and people do not even know their neighbor.
The diagram illustrate a process urbanization and the reason of people move to city has benefit and loss.
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The car use fuel
The car uses fuel
The accident cause a number of disadvantages
The accident causes a number of disadvantages
so it strengthen some
so it strengthens some
someone have to have
someone has to have
Sentence: The accident cause a number of disadvantages for inhabitant in town, so it strengthen some people's longing to move to cities in search of job opportunities.
Description: The fragment accident cause a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace cause with verb, past tense
Sentence: The diagram illustrate a process urbanization and the reason of people move to city has benefit and loss.
Description: The fragment diagram illustrate a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace illustrate with verb, past tense
the reason of people move to city has benefit and loss.
the reason of people who move to city has benefit and loss.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1304 1500
No. of Different Words: 154 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.777 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.645 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.5 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5