Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when traveling, etc).
Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?
As integral part of human life, people today are so dependent on information technology and it has altered the ways workers doing their job. Mobile phone, laptop, and Ipads make the workers easier working without coming to the workplace. However, while there are some advantages, I think we also must consider the possibility of dentrimental effects from this mobility.
The huge benefits are realized by employees in big cities. It is common situation that every morning and afternoon employees always meet traffic congestion and this situation not only wastes their time but also increases their ...
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Sentence: By working at home or we known as telecomuting, workers can save their time, their money, and they do not feel stress.
Description: The fragment we known as is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace known with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: The other advantage is businesssmen who have high mobility will be helped.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and businesssmen
Sentence: It is understandably that businessmen are really bussy, moving from one place to another place for negotiating and dealing with their clients.
Description: The fragment is understandably that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace understandably with adjective
Sentence: Despite this benefits, telecomuting also has negative impacts.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and benefits
Sentence: In Jakarta, it is commonly to hear the information about item lost cases in buses or train.
Description: The fragment is commonly to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace commonly with adjective
Sentence: So, it dangers to use mobile technology in public transport in order to do their job tasks.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to it and dangers
Sentence: However, while there are some advantages, I think we also must consider the possibility of dentrimental effects from this mobility.
Error: dentrimental Suggestion: detrimental
Sentence: The other advantage is businesssmen who have high mobility will be helped.
Error: businesssmen Suggestion: businessmen
Sentence: It is understandably that businessmen are really bussy, moving from one place to another place for negotiating and dealing with their clients.
Error: bussy Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Whether in their car or public transport, they can communicate with their costumers or doing their job such as planning or marketting.
Error: marketting Suggestion: marketing
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Still have grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 370 350
No. of Characters: 1877 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.386 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.073 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.681 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.242 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5