The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.
These two diagrams illustrate the stages of chocolate processing and the percentage of the price of a chocolate bar for each division which has proportion in chocolate price.
In chocolate-making step, the first step is ground cocoa to obtain cocoa liquor and waste as a production. Afterwards, the cocoa liquor is produce in two systems to result two dissimilar basic commodities. It is able to be pressed to reach cocoa butter which is blend with sugar, cocoa liquor itself and other materials to yield industrial chocolate to be sold as chocolate bar. While in another part, it is pressed to shape cocoa powder for food industry.
In pie chart of the price of a chocolate bar is showed that the price of chocolate bar is separated up to five stakeholder with different measurement. It can be definitely seen that the cost of ingredients and overheads the highest of percentage by 37% while supermarket by 34%. Other aspects are divide into three parts, 15% of it goes to the government as an obligation as tax, while chocolate company is had by 10%. The last, the lowest proportion is owned to the farmer by 4%.
In conclusion, these diagrams shows a complete process to produce cocoa powder and chocolate bar from the cocoa and the percentage are allocated of the price of a chocolate bar.
- People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what to extent do you agree or disagree? 60
- The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons. 60
- The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcoholin liters selected countries, for the period 1960-2000. Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons. 50
Sentence: Afterwards, the cocoa liquor is produce in two systems to result two dissimilar basic commodities.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and produce
Sentence: Other aspects are divide into three parts, 15 of it goes to the government as an obligation as tax, while chocolate company is had by 10.
Sentence: Other aspects are divided into three parts, 15 of it goes to the government as an obligation as tax, while chocolate company had 10.
the first step is ground cocoa to obtain cocoa liquor
the first step is grounding cocoa to obtain cocoa liquor
the cocoa liquor is produce in two systems
the cocoa liquor is produced in two systems
Sentence: In conclusion, these diagrams shows a complete process to produce cocoa powder and chocolate bar from the cocoa and the percentage are allocated of the price of a chocolate bar.
Description: The fragment and the percentage is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
flaws:
No. of Words: 223 200
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 223 200
No. of Characters: 1045 1000
No. of Different Words: 115 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.864 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.686 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 51 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.3 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.709 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.634 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4