You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Money is very important for every people. Some may like to buy a piece of jewelry while some may like to spend money for their entertainment. If I have received a gift of money then I would like to buy a piece of jewelry for few reasons such as, I am very passionate to wear rich jewelry, I can gift that to my grand children as loving memory of mine, and I can have my money back if I do not want them.
To begin with, since childhood, I loved to wear jewelry. For example, when I was kid I often see my mother buying variety of jewelry of gold and silver and sometimes jewelry that matched with her clothes for various events. So I believe that I got this passion from my mother. Being a kid I always thought that, when I come to my mother's age I will be buy lots of jewelry and wear that in every festival. So my excitement towards wearing jewelry shows that if I got chance to receive gift of money than I will definitely buy a piece of jewelry rather than wasting money in too buying a ticket for concert; as I do not like to enjoy concert which last only for short time. While you can wear jewelry for rest of your life when ever you want.
Secondly, in my culture jewelry is not only an ornament to represent woman's beauty; people gifted their old or new jewelry to their grand children as in loving memory. For instance, when I got marry, my mother gave me one golden necklaces which was very old fashioned, covered in cotton. These was worn by mother for number of times. These was gifted by my grand mother to my mother on her wedding. So if I got opportunity to decide between buying a jewelry and tickets for concert, I would definitely buy a piece of jewelry because I also want to continue my tradition by giving this to my grand children.
Finally, buying a jewelry is wise decision than buying ticket for concert. Although some people like to enjoy lively moments of concert and closer view of singers and performers, but if you find concert boring then there is waste of money. However if you buy a piece of jewelry and later on if your mind will change then you can return them or you can replace it with other one of your choice.
To sum up, with buying jewelry from gifted money would fulfill my passion, help to continue my tradition, and give me choice to replace it with other jewelry or offers me money return option.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 443 while No. of Different Words: 186
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 443 350
No. of Characters: 1860 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.588 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.199 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.185 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 14.032 7.5
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.236 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5