"In order to save a considerable amount of money, Rockingham's century-old town hall should be torn down and replaced by the larger and more energy-efficient building that some citizens have proposed. The old town hall is too small to comfortably accommodate the number of people who are employed by the town. In addition, it is very costly to heat the old hall in winter and cool it in summer. The new, larger building would be more energy efficient, costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall. Furthermore, it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby generating income for the town of Rockingham."
While it may be true that the citizens ought to devote more money to Rockingham's century-old town hall, this authors argument does not case for a cogent argument, cost required to build a new town hall and no other important problems in town which are to be addressed. It is easy to understand why city residents would want a new town hall, but this argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to lead to increased funding.
To begin with, author refers that the new building would be more energy efficient, moreover its costing is less per square feet to heat and cool compare to the old hall, but it fails to mention how much time will it take to compensate the money required to build the new town hall from reduction of cost to heat and cool, additionally by renting some space .if the time taken is very long then is no point in reconstruction of town hall
secondly,author did not consider the idea of fixing the town hall by making necessary changes, for instance changing equipment which are used for heating and cooling, with equipment which are more efficient, use less electricity and rather than demolishing the building just expand on those sides where it is possible,with this a lot of money can be saved additionally create some space for renting without demolishing it.
thirdly, writer of this argument failed to acknowledge whether there are other important issues are that needed to be addressed and money required here can invested in more important issues for example building schools and hospitals, if present improve their conditions, so that i could be beneficial for whole town starting from children to elderly people.
lastly, that citizens who have proposed this proposal represent the diverse people, is these can accurately be considered as requirement of whole town members, for instance, people who requested for town may be the employees of town hall may they want a new office for their personal benefit and the people who have proposed are not aware of other problems in the town which are needed to addressed.
Saving electricity always saves money and a good thing to do. but the argument presented by author, is an efficient way to do it, i don't think so. Since, this author's argument is plagued with numerous fallacies, it is not likely significant to persuade the city government to allocate increased funding.
- "In order to save a considerable amount of money, Rockingham's century-old town hall should be torn down and replaced by the larger and more energy-efficient building that some citizens have proposed. The old town hall is too small to comfortabl 32
- the best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagre 16
- The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College."To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based o 83
- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company."According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than i 45
- Those who treat politics and morality as though they were separate realms fail to understand either the one or the other 54
Comments
Essay evaluation report
The arguments are on the wrong track.
---------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 1938 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.75 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.557 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 51 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.445 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.87 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...over its costing is less per square feet to heat and cool compare to the old hal...
^^
Line 3, column 146, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s less per square feet to heat and cool compare to the old hall, but it fails to...
^^
Line 3, column 359, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...cool, additionally by renting some space .if the time taken is very long then is n...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...point in reconstruction of town hall secondly,author did not consider the idea of fix...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
... reconstruction of town hall secondly,author did not consider the idea of fixing the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 318, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , with
...pand on those sides where it is possible,with this a lot of money can be saved additi...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thirdly
... for renting without demolishing it. thirdly, writer of this argument failed to ackn...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 280, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...esent improve their conditions, so that i could be beneficial for whole town star...
^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Lastly
...ing from children to elderly people. lastly, that citizens who have proposed this ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 26, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rly people. lastly, that citizens who have proposed this proposal represent th...
^^
Line 11, column 133, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...author, is an efficient way to do it, i dont think so. Since, this authors argument ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, while, for example, for instance, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1992.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 405.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91851851852 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.674770494 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518518518519 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 615.6 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 50.0 22.8473053892 219% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 242.50769962 57.8364921388 419% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 249.0 119.503703932 208% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 50.625 23.324526521 217% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 16.125 5.70786347227 283% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.27882282283 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11843401556 0.0743258471296 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0950467607847 0.0701772020484 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147224828642 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0740297802622 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 27.1 14.3799401198 188% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 29.19 48.3550499002 60% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 21.6 12.197005988 177% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.47 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 22.0 11.1389221557 198% => OK
text_standard: 22.0 11.9071856287 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.