The following appeared in the City Council Proceedings section of the local newspaper in Smithville.
"The city council of Smithville has recommended making changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes include hiring more police officers, budgeting more funds for police overtime, and directing officers to patrol significantly more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars. These improvements in visibility would significantly lower the crime rate in Smithville and make its citizens feel safer."
The city council of Smithville believes that increasing the visibility of its police force will reduce crime and increase the safety of its citizens. However, the memo provides no evidence to support this argument, and the city council may not be taking other variables, alternative solutions, or the citizens' desires into consideration.
The Smithville city council assumes that crime persists because the city's police force has too low a profile, but the memo never cites evidence to support this position. The council could do something as simple yet effective as asking the town librarian to review published studies to see whether a parallel exists between a high police presence and reduced crime rates. It could also hire an independent research firm to determine whether a correlation exists between Smithville crime scenes and a lack of police activity.
The council should consider other factors that might account for the current crime rate. The police force may be untrained or poorly managed. If so, adding more officers or encouraging officers to work longer hours could actually compound the problem. Here again, research could be a vital ally in the council's case: what have other towns with similar problems identified as causal factors? What raining do their police forces receive? How are they deployed, on foot or in patrol cars? Answering questions like these might help clarify a solution to the town's problem. The council should also research historic solutions to the problem: How have towns like theirs reduced a growing crime rate? This research could bolster the councils position or uncover alternative, less costly solutions to crime-fighting.
The council also assumes that a higher police presence automatically reduces citizen concerns over crime, but it doesn't take into consideration the relationship between the residents and the police. Some communities regard police officers with a great deal of distrust, and that attitude may be pronounced in a community where the police force is perceived as unable to cope with crime. Has the community itself, through its elected leaders, the police chief, op-ed pieces in the newspaper, or community groups, expressed a need for a stronger police force? The memo never says.
As it currently stands, the Smithville city council's memo announces a recommendation that appears to have been made in a vacuum. To convince citizens that bolstering the police force and changing patrol procedures is the way to fight crime, the memo needs to state how the council arrived at this decision. Only then can citizens feel that the council is taking the right course of action.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 2180 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.142 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.609 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.511 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 555, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'towns'' or 'town's'?
Suggestion: towns'; town's
...se might help clarify a solution to the towns problem. The council should also resear...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 114, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ces citizen concerns over crime, but it doesnt take into consideration the relationshi...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 45, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'councils'' or 'council's'?
Suggestion: councils'; council's
...t currently stands, the Smithville city councils memo announces a recommendation that ap...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, may, so, then, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2233.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 423.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27895981087 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67348607446 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536643026005 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 708.3 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8623844866 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.333333333 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1428571429 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.57142857143 5.70786347227 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253970771503 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.077442930282 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.059582772856 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162948996828 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0541717349272 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.11 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.