TPO 52 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Even in modern societies, parents or relatives still tend to arrange each and every aspects of young people live from the college they are entering in to the major they select. Personally, I believe that the rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, nowadays parents eliminate their children freedom to make a decision individually. The mutual concern of most people between the age of 20 to 30 is that their parents dictate their own obey and decisions to them. My friend Ali’s experience is compelling example of this. Five years ago, he prepared for exams to get into university, but Ali got trouble with his family to choose a faculty. Ali wanted to be businessman because of his interest to money, but his parents’ desire was to see their son as a doctor in a big hospital. He concurred with his family in the end and got admission to small town university. Ali could not study the lessons about person’s anatomy and chemicals inside organs. Additionally, he scored lower in exams, so the authority decided to extract Ali from the university. As a result, family’s control over their son destroyed Ali’s future life.
Secondly, governments constrain young people’s privileges to start a new business by high taxes. The young could not implement their ideas since there are not enough investments to projects. For example, I had a plan to improve comics in our country by establishing comics film, so I asked to one investor and explained the benefits of doing it. He was curious about my project, so investor assisted me financially to create this film. We finished our project and started to produce film in movie houses, but government officials required high taxes from us for per session. Furthermore, these taxes obliged the movie to gain profit, and we concluded the project on account of debts to banks. Therefore, the government finished our work with impositions to do it.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the young face some regulations which are severe to follow. This is because parents control their futures and do not ask the children about their own thoughts. Also, governments create a financial problem to the creative people who are willing to start the innovations in their country,

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... start the innovations in their country,
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, as to, for example, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1991.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 398.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00251256281 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79572379964 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.582914572864 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 626.4 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.5933052726 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 90.5 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0909090909 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.22727272727 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.143721686223 0.236089414692 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0478910589956 0.076458572812 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.091798906446 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105177915254 0.150856017488 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0852037992308 0.0645574589148 132% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.42 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.