There are numerous health problems in the world today. Some people believe that many of today’s health problems would be avoided if schools spent more time educating their students about them.
Do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, there has been a notorious increase in health problems compared with past years. It is thought that this negative trend could be cut off if schools would add more health-related subjects in theirs study programs. It can be argued that by teaching more at school about what are the causes of many diseases, such as eating disorder and sun exposure, many children will certainly avoid getting an unhealthy life in the future.
To begin, eating disorder is a current problem that affects many children in everywhere. Children who are obesessed consequence of a wrong eating behaviour are likely to suffer from heart disease, diabetes and respiratory problems. These negative results could be prevented by teaching them since an early stage of education to maintain a wholesome consumption of food and reduce eating fast-food. It is obvious then that this sort of education is a must in order to lead children through a healthier lifestyle.
Another terrible health problem that could be avoided if children are well instructed at school is skin cancer. Many people is diagnostic with skin cancer due to an over exposure to the sun, mostly because they do not know how much sun the body can tolerate before acquire a melanoma. This sort of disinformation could have been prevented if they had taught how a melanoma can appear in the body and above all how to protect from it. Thus, it will certainly be a drop in this horrible illness if the subject is added to the school syllabus.
In conclusion, it will be a positive benefit for children and the humanity in general if schools incorporate more study hours teaching about illness and how to avoid them.
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2014-03-31 | asdrubaljimenez | 80 | view |
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Sentence: It is thought that this negative trend could be cut off if schools would add more health-related subjects in theirs study programs.
Description: A pronoun, possessive is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to theirs and study
Sentence: Children who are obesessed consequence of a wrong eating behaviour are likely to suffer from heart disease, diabetes and respiratory problems.
Error: obesessed Suggestion: obsessed
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
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No. of Words: 284 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.105 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.799 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.549 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5