Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its
next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's
Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly
Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise
clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight
training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new
generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-
for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
The argument states that Nature's way's next franchise which is going to sell health foods would be a profitable one in Plainsville as people in the town live a healthy life and their children are going to the future customers. However, this claim is based on some unwarranted assumptions rife with holes and uncertainty, which to make this claim more persuasive, needs further clarification.
First of all, it states that the people of Plainsville are already health-conscious, meaning they are already buying healthy food. Maybe there are other stores that are selling good quality foods at a fair price. Older stores may be more likely to be popular among customers as they are in business for a long time. If this is the case, then the new store is going to face hard competition. So keeping competition from other stores in the account, Nature's way's new store may not be as much as successful as anticipated.
Secondly, Plainsville merchants report about high sales of running shoes and exercise clothing which has very little to provide anticipation about sales of healthy foods are going to rise or not. Maybe people are more into running and exercising than to eat healthy food. Nowadays 'organic' food is a buzzword. What if people in Plainsville prefer organic or homemade food rather than buying from stores? A rise in sales of other health-related products doesn't necessarily mean that sales in health food would also increase. The report provided by Plainsville merchants may not be reliable.
Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren are being considered as potential future customers which may not be guaranteed. We don't know where these kids are going to live in the future. Perhaps they will move to another city once they grow up. Let's assume that they will live in Plainsville for the rest of their life but what is the guarantee that they will follow a healthy lifestyle like their parents? Considering these factors, treating schoolchildren as future customers may be a vague idea.
The author may need to do further research on peoples eating habit, present stores in Plainsville, types of food they sell to their customersto make his claim more persuasive and practical rather than relying on some limited and contrived idea.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1841 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.936 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.733 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.263 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 453, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... sales of other health-related products doesnt necessarily mean that sales in health f...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 121, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...stomers which may not be guaranteed. We dont know where these kids are going to live...
^^^^
Line 13, column 239, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...move to another city once they grow up. Lets assume that they will live in Plainsvil...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1896.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 371.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11051212938 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79519893281 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.520215633423 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 576.9 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.4715504576 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.7894736842 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5263157895 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47368421053 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235790628662 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0746218679954 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0680491197806 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132010533448 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0723512583792 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.