The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a cafe in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the cafe would attract more customers. Space could be made for the cafe by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a cafe will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own cafe."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument that concludes Monarch Books should open a cafe in its store which will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books is flawed. It is based on premises that Monarch has a large customer base because it is known for its wide categories of books on all subjects, that opening the cafe would attract more customers, that the most recent national census implied a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten and discontinuing the children's book section can provide the required apace for the cafe. It is logical and seems to be true, and that Regal Books opened its own cafe recently. However, there are a plenty of questions to be verified in order to accept this recommendation.
First, would opening the cafe surely attract more customers? Many may claim this statement because they are fond of coffee. Although the odor of Latta, a sip of american coffee, and the leisure atmosphere provided by the cafe might increase their interests at reading books in Monarch Books, they would simply want to stay in the store and never buy a book home. If it is true, then they are just visitors, not real customers and the number of purchase will decline. What if the inhabitants just don't like anything about cafe? They may love tea, orange juice, or other kind of drinks, but nothing about coffee. Then the customers will be less. On the other hand, What if the inhabitants just don't like anything about cafe? They may love tea, orange juice, or other kind of drinks, but nothing about coffee. Then the customers will be less.
Second, is the census indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten reliable? It may be a report that only investigates in a small number of population. Or, ever more absurd, maybe the researchers just asked teenagers these questions. If this census is wrong, the discontinuing the children's book section will surely damage the business. The final result will be competition between the results of opening the cafe and of reduction of the kid's book selection. It is controversial, however.
Third, will opening the cafe win the competition with discontinuing the children's book section? Even if opening the cafe increases the customers with no reduction of children's book, does this kind of increase balance the decrease of customers regarding discontinuing the children's book section, or even outmatch? Remanber that many parents go to book store for their kids could enjoy in children's books and they can also relax with indulgence in world or books for a while. The answer to the question will ascertain the certification of this argument.
In the end, this argument is far beyond acceptable. If the questions whether opening the cafe would attract more customers, whether the census indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten is reliable, and whether opening the cafe will win the competition with discontinuing the children's book section be answered yes, this recommendation is demonstrated. Therefore, the argument is hardly accepted.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 518 350 (Less words)
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Still need to improve the language.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 518 350
No. of Characters: 2538 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.771 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.703 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.185 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.283 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.704 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.465 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5