The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art
department at the college.
“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an
internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40
percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs,
located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a
number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is
sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible
working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design
business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of
Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in
a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art
students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
n the context, the chairperson of the art department of te Linford college suggested that pursuing internship in the Skyway Designs will convive to make a good career of the upcoming graduates. Delineated in this way, the author fails to answer several cardinal questions answer. To justify his conclusion the author narrates that Skyway Design offers internship in all of their departments including flexible working hours & it is knowen to be the best among the city as 80% businesses are depending on skyway for their design works. However, careful scrutiny view of these evidences reveal that there are an abundance of loopholes laying among the proofs which made the argument unwarranted. Therefore, the argument can be comsidered unpersuasive & need more trenchant analysis.
The first point which attracts most is the co-operativeness of the Skyway designs. The author merely assume that Skyway Designs has enormous friendly enviroment during the internship period of the students. It might be happened that the employees of that company feel nettlesome to teach the corporate things to the students. It might be caused that only 40% of students had completed internship though it was benificial for them. If the teaching enviroment is rude in that company then maximum intern students will not be evoked to contunue the intern on that company. Besides this, the author indicates flexible working hours as a good sign, though it is not. Because in the real work life maximum workers will not get flexible working hours. So this is providing intern students an unrealistic pre coming career experience which is detrimental.
Additionally, Despite 80% business company use Skyway Designs, it can not be the cause that they are good at design. It might be happened that Skyway offers some cheap price for doing designs & they are not well enough in designs. Hence, if this becomes true then intern studnets will no be able to learn unique design tricks. Moreover, if the whole department has done intern only on a specifici company this can be inimical for their upcoming career because doing this will curtailing their networking power. So when they will enter in work life they will feel less network for getting job.
On the other hand, the argument can be supplemental if there was a survey conducted among the students who had done intern on Skyway company , so that they can give a review about the working enviroment in the Skyway company. Besides this, Another survey should be conducted among the business companies about asking why they are using that specific company so much. Is there designs are really good or there are something other issues hidden behind. Knowing these facts can enhance the proofs justification what the author has given.
In summary, the argument is unsubstantiated as it stands with lot of porosity. To butress it further it is need to known some important data perhaps by survey or doing some investigation on Skyway Desing before taking such prosaic decision to send all the students on a specific design company. These will be effective for the art department future development.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-27 | amberk | 55 | view |
| 2019-11-20 | ym95061305 | 63 | view |
| 2019-10-30 | Kyunghwan Kim | 59 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: N
n the context, the chairperson of the art...
^
Line 1, column 488, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...e best among the city as 80% businesses are depending on skyway for their design works. Howev...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 432, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ship though it was benificial for them. If the teaching enviroment is rude in that...
^^
Line 5, column 663, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...hours as a good sign, though it is not. Because in the real work life maximum workers w...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 286, Rule ID: NOW[3]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
... becomes true then intern studnets will no be able to learn unique design tricks. ...
^^
Line 13, column 477, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'curtail'
Suggestion: curtail
...upcoming career because doing this will curtailing their networking power. So when they wi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 141, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ts who had done intern on Skyway company , so that they can give a review about th...
^^
Line 21, column 488, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'proofs'' or 'proof's'?
Suggestion: proofs'; proof's
...nd. Knowing these facts can enhance the proofs justification what the author has given...
^^^^^^
Line 25, column 116, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[5]
Message: Did you mean 'know'?
Suggestion: know
...ty. To butress it further it is need to known some important data perhaps by survey o...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, hence, however, if, moreover, really, so, then, therefore, well, in summary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2640.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 511.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16634050881 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75450408675 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66781136081 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479452054795 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 805.5 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.1666141151 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.6 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.44 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.6 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0379777458303 0.218282227539 17% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0105482325902 0.0743258471296 14% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0203632123285 0.0701772020484 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0241817460941 0.128457276422 19% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.018884328887 0.0628817314937 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 98.500998004 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.