"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest- rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
In this argument, author claims that new jazz club in Monroe will give a city tremendous profit. However, this argument depends on several unsubstantiated assumption and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands
First of all, the author’s sated that nearest jazz club is 65 miles away so proposed club will monopolized the local market. However this does not provide any evidence to support this assumption. Even if 65 miles away from the city, people may prefer the quality of its music and its food. Moreover, there will be other factors that people living in Monroe’s working area is near to jazz club, which is 65 miles apart. Also, it is not certain if the C Note can attract customers if the competitor offers more promotion and amenities which C Note is unable to trump out and the possibility of future upcoming competition cannot be ignored. Therefore, further evidence that existing jazz club is needed to support the claim. Unless the author offers sufficient data, this assumption is logically flawed.
Similarly, the claim that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe depends on the three possible reasons. While success of jazz festival is indicated by the attended number of people, it need to verify that all of the attendant of festival was Monroe’s people. There might be travelers or jazz club’s ardent fan who follows every concert. In addition, the highest-rated radio program will not certify the popularity of jazz music but the rate might be granted by a lack of alternatives in the relevant time slot or due to the radio hosts quality and popularity. Moreover, nationwide study will not indicates the only one city’s popularity. To satisfy the claims more detail data and convincing evidence will be needed whether a local preference for jazz music is indeed given since the argument is largely pointless if it is not the case.
To sum, the author’s assumption that new jazz club in Monroe will give a massive profit is logically flawed based in the above mentioned reasons. To strengthen his or her argument, the author should closely examine all the condition and possible factors of potential and existing competitors and jazz popularity in Monroe. In conclusion, the author’s argument reflects unsupported claims without clear reasons or evidence.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 101, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'monopolize'
Suggestion: monopolize
... is 65 miles away so proposed club will monopolized the local market. However this does not...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 131, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...club will monopolized the local market. However this does not provide any evidence to s...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 203, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...umber of people, it need to verify that all of the attendant of festival was Monroe's...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 538, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'hosts'' or 'host's'?
Suggestion: hosts'; host's
... relevant time slot or due to the radio hosts quality and popularity. Moreover, natio...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 604, Rule ID: DONT_NEEDS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'indicate'?
Suggestion: indicate
...ty. Moreover, nationwide study will not indicates the only one city's popularity. To...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 604, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'indicate'
Suggestion: indicate
...ty. Moreover, nationwide study will not indicates the only one city's popularity. To...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 152, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...d based in the above mentioned reasons. To strengthen his or her argument, the aut...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, similarly, so, then, therefore, while, in addition, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 33.0505617978 61% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 58.6224719101 65% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1949.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 375.0 442.535393258 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.19733333333 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84979968107 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 215.323595506 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.533333333333 0.4932671777 108% => OK
syllable_count: 612.9 704.065955056 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.7072247827 60.3974514979 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.647058824 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0588235294 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.35294117647 5.21951772744 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 7.80617977528 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.372071533688 0.243740707755 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.124443842437 0.0831039109588 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0974849324775 0.0758088955206 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.229464222996 0.150359130593 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0589459847336 0.0667264976115 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 12.1639044944 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.28 8.38706741573 111% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 100.480337079 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.