"For the past year, as part of an effort to broaden our supporter base, our Folk on the Air program has allocated less time to traditional American folk music and more time to Latino music and world music. In recent months, many long-term supporters of our station have written to complain about what they describe as the un-American bias of the program. In addition, the local newspaper has published a recent editorial critical of our shift in programming. Therefore, in order to forestall any further adverse publicity for the station and to avoid the loss of additional listener-supporters, we should discontinue our current emphasis on Latino and world music and restore the time devoted to traditional American folk music to its former level."
According to the memorandum from the business manager of a listener- supporter public radio station it is required that there should be whole time devoted to traditional American music in order to forestall any adversities on their publicity of their station and to avoid the shrinkage of the additional listerners. The author clearly states that in their attempt to broaden their supporter base they allocated more time to Latino music and world music. But it was seen that there attempt drag them to many critics related to this change over. But these reasons are not atall sufficient to decide that their discontinuation of more time on Latino music should be recovered by the traditional folk music.
Firstly, author mentioned that the local newspaper had published a recent editorial critical of our shift in programming. But it can't be generalized that their move of giving more time to Latino is wrong. It can be a possibility that the members of that particular locality don't like Latino music. This then can be heard by others then they might love the more emphasis given to latino.
Secondly, it might be the opinion of elderly person in that critics. So considering the views of teenagers and younger generations they will surely accept the change done for more world music, isn't it?
Thirdly, the manager of a listener-supporter public radio station can schedule equal time for both the styles of music. This could end the debate over their change made over the traditional. Thus this can also help the radio to maintain the long term supporters as well as encourage the new ones to bolster the radio station.
Hence, I came to the conclusion that argument made by authors lacks the sufficient evidence and thus fails to gain enough support.
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Sentence: According to the memorandum from the business manager of a listener- supporter public radio station it is required that there should be whole time devoted to traditional American music in order to forestall any adversities on their publicity of their station and to avoid the shrinkage of the additional listerners.
Error: listerners Suggestion: listeners
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
Introduction should be shorter. Essay body should have more content.
flaws:
You need to analyze the structure of the topic and argue accordingly.
condition 1:
In recent months, many long-term supporters of our station have written to complain about what they describe as the un-American bias of the program. //here you can argue against complains
condition 2:
In addition, the local newspaper has published a recent editorial critical of our shift in programming. //here you can argue against the local newspaper. Maybe only one newspaper for example.
conclusion:
Therefore, in order to forestall any further adverse publicity for the station and to avoid the loss of additional listener-supporters, we should discontinue our current emphasis on Latino and world music and restore the time devoted to traditional American folk music to its former level //here you can argue against the conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 297 350
No. of Characters: 1437 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.151 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.838 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.017 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.607 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5