do spend money for sports or cultural places is a positive development?

Essay topics:

do spend money for sports or cultural places is a positive development?

Nowadays, people spend many costs for watching sport in stadiums, and meeting cultural places. There are different viewpoints for it. while some people claimed that these costs create a negative development, I personally believe that it is a positive development.

Watching sports in stadium help to reduce anxiety and increase relaxing between people. With the industrialization in the early of twentieth century, unfortunately leads to increase work hours, overcrowding, and pollution. Each one of the above issues, lonely can be had negative impact on individuals that most important effects are anxiety and mind stress. Went to stadium and watch sport can help to decrease these problem by enjoying of match and discharging excitement. Consequently, they will have more calm nervousness. As a result, street clashes specially among teenager will be reduced and assist us for having healthier society.

In addition, if people spend money for going to cultural places, it can help to rise the level of their knowledge. For example, museums are the abstract of country’s culture, art and privilege. In conclusion, families particularly teenagers with the meeting of these places can become familiar with the past generation, and events that happened in those periods.

To sum up, in my opinion spend money for watching match at the stadium or visit cultural places will help to increase people awareness, reducing crimes like quarrel, and having the more relax people.

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Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 413, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this problem' or 'these problems'?
Suggestion: this problem; these problems
...um and watch sport can help to decrease these problem by enjoying of match and discharging ex...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, if, so, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 13.1623246493 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 24.0651302605 66% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 41.998997996 79% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1275.0 1615.20841683 79% => OK
No of words: 230.0 315.596192385 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.54347826087 5.12529762239 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.89432290496 4.20363070211 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91562507281 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 145.0 176.041082164 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.630434782609 0.561755894193 112% => OK
syllable_count: 381.6 506.74238477 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 0.809619238477 494% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.0679923021 49.4020404114 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0769230769 106.682146367 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6923076923 20.7667163134 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.23076923077 7.06120827912 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.247675108763 0.244688304435 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0807410758162 0.084324248473 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0810599286905 0.0667982634062 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160834765084 0.151304729494 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0615466344339 0.056905535591 108% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 13.0946893788 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 50.2224549098 91% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.56 12.4159519038 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.22 8.58950901804 107% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 78.4519038076 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
More content wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.