Good relationship or studying hard for success in future job?
Success in the job can be introduced as an important goal in our life. Social skill is one of the essential factors which help us in our future job but what other factors make us professional in our field. Nowadays It is commonly accepted that the social skills is the most important factor for success contrary to this belief, there are still who argue that working hard in schools and universities would help you more. However, I am inclined to believe that studying hard is the key of success in the job for two reasons.
The first aspect to point out is that knowledge would guarantee accomplishment in the job. If you obtain capable information and experiences during your studying you would be more expert in your responsibilities. For example, Two year ago I worked on an experimental project in California University which need some kind of dirty hand work. Many students reject the projects which lead them to experimental work. Furthermore, many of my friends annoy me for these kinds of works in an academic environmental area. When the project finished, I really feel that it made me expert in the area of manufacturing and machine design. Moreover, I would not have scared from experimental project anymore. After two years when I want to start my own career, I go to a robotic center for finding a job. They only focused on my ability to working on experimental projects and proposed me a high salary with some other benefits for attracting me in to project. As you can see, the experiments of studying hard would benefit you in the future.
Another significant fact which should be taken in to consideration is that studying hard gives you a molarity of working hard. For example, one of my friends wants to apply for a job in the area of wind energy. However, his areas of expertise are not matched with wind energy area. Therefore, it makes him hopeless for being qualified in acceptance process. By the way, the boss of company set an interview for him. The boss was surprised when he saw his academic achievements. My friend was the first ranked person in our department and he has published ten numbers of research papers in international journals. It can be easily concluded from his resume that he had the ability of working hard and also it shows that he is sharp person. The boss considered all of these facts and gives him the job. In the end of interviewing he said to my friend that the molarity and personal characteristics of a person can be showed in his academic background. This story taught me that a good academic background would help you in all situations.
On the basis of the points which are mentioned above, i am convinced that working hard in school play an important role in your future job. Not only do we obtain worthwhile experiences by studying hard, but we also can show our molarity and personal characteristic by our academic backgrounds. Who can rejects the importance of academic background in success in our life and jobs? Why are all people trying to continue their education toward masters?
- TPO 13 q1 80
- Good relationship or studying hard for success in future job? 70
- TPO 15 learning children financial skill from the younger age make them strong for the future financial responsibilities. 80
- TPO 8 q1 70
- Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to work independently? 85
Comments
could you explain how can i
could you explain how can i improve these three parts?
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.267 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.416 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
The coherences are not your
The coherences are not your problems. You need to put less content for the examples. and follow this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
there are still who argue that
there are still those who argue that
you would be more expert in your responsibilities.
you would be more professional in your responsibilities.
it made me expert
it made me an expert
he is sharp person.
he is a sharp person.
working hard in school play an important role
working hard in school plays an important role
Sentence: Who can rejects the importance of academic background in success in our life and jobs?
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to can and rejects
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 531 350 //Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 531 350
No. of Characters: 2468 1500
No. of Different Words: 261 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.8 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.648 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.765 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.31 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.32 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.552 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.267 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.416 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5