Revised
Now, many people believe that primary school students should spend more time on learning technical subjects such as computer, instead of arts or music. Do you think it is a good or bad decision?
Nowadays, some primary schools choose their students to take their various types of classes. In one of these schools, the primary school students take their time to study technologies. However, it is so controvertible for them to consume their school time on learning technical devices instead of arts or music. In my view, primary school students should attend technology lectures as equal to arts or music classes. They can set up several advanced wisdom, expand their future choices for their careers, and acquire a variety of hobbies.
To begin with, the students who attend primary school let them taking part in their classes by equal time gain splendid knowledge. When they have to attend plenty of lecturers such as math, sociology, art, and so on, these classes boost their wisdom. For example, one of the students spends their class time on taking technology classes in primary school. His brain gradually tilts his knowledge into machinery. Therefore, it is so confined for him to make his interests. Moreover, he consumes his free time playing games in his home. As a result, primary schools conclude the wisdom of their students to make their school where they can study all classes as same as possible.
Secondly, primary schools make opportunities for their students to earn expanded future decisions through the classes at a balanced time compared with others. If they participate in almost all their subjects as technology, their future carriers will be types of technicians such as repairing cars, producing computers, and creating medicines, and so on. Nevertheless, the students who attend various types of lectures interest in others without technologies. From this experience by the primary school, they sometimes decide their future universities, jobs, and carries. Thus, they should join in their lectures at the equal time compared with other classes.
Finally, the lectures composed at the same time as others generate several types of hobbies of primary school students. Some primary school students pick their hobbies from their school. Once they make attention to a piano lesson, they sometimes ask their parents to buy a piano. On the other hand, if they attend their lessons on studying a specific subject, their hobbies completely will be limited. For instance, they have to spend their lecture time on participating technologies by the rules of their school. Hence, their habitat to spend their free time will be using technological devices. Furthermore, They play games, sit on in front of a computer, and communicate with their friends through a smartphone.
To sum up, primary schools make a result for their students to spend their class time as equal as possible. I surely believe that they earn bountiful wisdom, develop their future carries, and make opportunities to interest in plentiful hobbies.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, furthermore, hence, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, such as, as a result, in my view, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2397.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 456.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25657894737 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67440212164 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460526315789 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 718.2 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.5796321974 48.9658058833 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.1923076923 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5384615385 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.03846153846 5.45110844103 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178159841578 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738070817711 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0605660930426 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131209935045 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418100057997 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.93 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.