Some people say that the best way to improve public health is the increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effects on public health and that other measure is required.
discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are many options to improve healthy citizens nowadays. Some people assume that growing the total of sports facilities is the most important to rising national fitness. While it is reasonable, I tend to believe that this progressive improvement is unlikely influence potentially in public health and the other reasonable possibility is needed.
Some people believe the total numbers of sporting local facilities determines unambiguously the percentage of community's health condition. As a straightforward example, 85 percent of citizen in Jakarta have a positive general fit test. It is caused by a lot of sports centers show an upward trend in the state. While it is measurable, we should realize that there are several factors are required to increase public health.
I am of the opinion that sport facilities exceedingly likely will not help public health and other factors need to be considered. Evidence for this is provided by the health condition of local inhabitants in Singapore is considerably drop-down in recent year; nevertheless, Singapore's government always increased a number of sports infrastructures year by year. This case caused by a lot of smokers and high consumption of unhealthy meals in the country. As the solutions of this problem, the government replaces tobacco cigarette to be electric cigarette and build more healthy foods centers. Those solutions must be seriously considered to pump up the percentage of public health.
On balance, improving sports facilities probably can increase healthy in publicity, even though unhealthy lifestyles such as smoking tobacco cigarette and consuming fast food play important role to increase public health. Therefore, we should pay more attentions to the other factors, alongside increasing a number of sports infrastructures, to stimulate health status of population.
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is the most important to rising national fitness.
is the most important thing to rise national fitness.
and the other reasonable possibility is needed.
and the other reasonable possibilities are needed.
and another reasonable possibility is needed.
It is caused by a lot of sports centers show an upward trend in the state.
It is caused by a lot of sports centers to show an upward trend in the state.
there are several factors are required to increase public health.
there are several factors which are required to increase public health.
play important role to increase public health.
play an important role to increase public health.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
The essay body is not well organized. Try this pattern for essay body:
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Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1535 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.443 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.052 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.266 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.357 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5