The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
A prompt appeared in a health newsletter which suggested that the government should focus more upon educating people about bicycle safety than encouraging them to wear helmets while riding a bicycle. The arguer of the prompt has provided two independent study's to bolster his position and put forth his point. The evidence seem convincing and add credibility to the arguer's opinion, although a closer examination might hint towards possible fallacies that might undermine the arguer's position.
Firstly, the arguer cite's one of the study which states that the number of bicyclists who wear helmets has increased form thirty-five percent to eighty percent. Ironically, another study suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle related accidents have risen by two-hundred percent. Therefore, the arguer concludes that wearing a helmet is giving people a sense of safety which enables them to take more risks. Such an assertion in my opinion is based upon statistics which might be incorrect. What if the number of people who have reported that they wear helmets have actually lied to this question? This would mean that the number of people who wear helmets might actually be a lot less than expected, due to which, it may also be the case that people who are really wearing helmets are unscathed by the accident and the people who have lied about wearing helmets are the one's who are victims of bicycle related accidents. This would undermine the arguer's opinion regarding the importance of wearing helmets while riding a bicycle.
Secondly, the arguer states that the number of bicycle related accidents have increased considerably over the past ten-years. Has the arguer tried to investigate the reason behind such an increase? It might be possible that the increase in number of accidents is due to the increase in the number of automobiles over the past decade. This could mean that it is not the riders who are taking a risk, but the sheer clutter, owing to the increase in automobile traffic has led to the increase of bicycle related accidents. In such a case, it would be ideal to wear a helmet since relying solely on bicycle safety eductaion might not probably save a person from serious head injuries. The arguer's assertion regarding the importance of wearing a helmet is again undermined if such a case exists.
Lastly, the arguer seems to be confident about the results of bicycle safety education. The arguer thinks that the bicycle riders will diligently follow the bicycle safety education whenever they ride their bicycles. What if this is not the case? What if the bicycle riders follow the safety instructions for a few days and then abandon it? This would mean that the number of accidents will increase even further, since the bicycle riders might not be wearing helmets while riding a bicycle. To prevent such a situation from arising, it would be ideal if the government encourages the use of helmets in order to prevent bicycle related accidents.
In sum, the evidence provided by the arguer are dubious and erroneous in nature. There are considerable fallacies in the evidence provided and hence, it seriously undermines the arguer's position and his opinion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 530 350
No. of Characters: 2642 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.798 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.985 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.507 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 216 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.908 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 367, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguers'' or 'arguer's'?
Suggestion: arguers'; arguer's
...m convincing and add credibility to the arguers opinion, although a closer examination ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 605, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'lain'.
Suggestion: lain
...ed that they wear helmets have actually lied to this question? This would mean that ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 866, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'lain'.
Suggestion: lain
...by the accident and the people who have lied about wearing helmets are the ones who ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 906, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...lied about wearing helmets are the ones who are victims of bicycle related accidents. T...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 977, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguers'' or 'arguer's'?
Suggestion: arguers'; arguer's
...ted accidents. This would undermine the arguers opinion regarding the importance of wea...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 686, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguers'' or 'arguer's'?
Suggestion: arguers'; arguer's
... person from serious head injuries. The arguers assertion regarding the importance of w...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, may, really, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, while, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2690.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 530.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07547169811 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79809637944 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56497203175 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.407547169811 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 852.3 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7030819016 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.083333333 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0833333333 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.79166666667 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259192963078 0.218282227539 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0786624322618 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0681940867807 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131846591398 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0894894351019 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.71 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.