arguement
According to the recommendation of Waymarsh, traffic problems will be solved by adopting the strategy of sharing rides in Garville, Although it is convincing at the first glance, it needs more evidence to justify the validity and effectiveness of the policy before the city adopts it.
Even though the commute has been prolonged from 20 minutes to 40 minutes in three years according to the recent survey, but it cannot prove the traffic problems exist indeed. If Waymarsh enlarged the urban area in these years, it is normal that more time will be wasted on the road than before, which cannot represent the city has severe traffic problems. If the city distribution cannot be changed, the responsibility of respondents in this survey also should be substantiated, for example, if 10 persons in one company participated in this survey after their company moved, it is undoubted that their commute are prolonged, but most of the citizens’ commute is similar to before. the survey cannot be claimed valid. Therefore, the author needs to corroborate the availability of the survey and confirm the change of the city.
Furthermore, the policy in Garville dissolved the traffic problem by sharing rides. However, it does not represent the similar success will happen in Waymarsh. Firstly, the Waymarsh’s people may not like this strategy, if most of people are accustomed to taking private car or only share rides with their friends even giving them many coupons for free gas, absolutely, it will not be valid in Waymarsh even it has been succeed in Garville. Secondly, if the they do not refuse the policy, will it surely alleviate the pressure in traffic? It probably will not. we do not clearly recognize the density of population. For instance, Waymarsh city has more people than Garville, and the amount of vehicle may increase instead of alleviating it. Consequently, the author should take more credible survey of the citizens’ altitude about the policy and explicit the data of Waymarsh’s population.
Although the pollution levels in Garville have dropped since the policy was implemented, the author does not provide enough evidence to strengthen Waymarsh has the same result afterwards. The Garville possibly is a tourist city in which the pollution comes from the waste gas mainly, however, the Waymarsh is famous for the industrialization, therefore, It is impossible that the pollution will be reduced as Garville. Even if both of the cities are in the same circumstance, the words of peoplein Garville are representative? They are just from a small group, which must not represent the attitude of the general population in Garville. In a nutshell, the author must present a survey to make discrepancies both of the counterparts and find out the representativeness of the words before bringing the same practice into Waymarsh.
Although the argument and the conclusion might be true ,some specific proofs should be released to better evaluate the argument.In that case, the argument will be more reasonable and convincing.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 493 350
No. of Characters: 2480 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.712 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.03 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.945 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 13, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...fore the city adopts it. Even though the commute has been prolonged from 20 minutes to 4...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 683, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...citizens’ commute is similar to before. the survey cannot be claimed valid. Therefo...
^^^
Line 5, column 223, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...s people may not like this strategy, if most of people are accustomed to taking private car or...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 420, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'succeeded'.
Suggestion: succeeded
...t be valid in Waymarsh even it has been succeed in Garville. Secondly, if the they do n...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 454, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'they'?
Suggestion: the; they
... been succeed in Garville. Secondly, if the they do not refuse the policy, will it surel...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 561, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...ssure in traffic? It probably will not. we do not clearly recognize the density of...
^^
Line 5, column 629, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the density of population. For instance, Waymarsh city has more people than Garvi...
^^
Line 9, column 55, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rgument and the conclusion might be true ,some specific proofs should be released ...
^^
Line 9, column 129, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...eleased to better evaluate the argument.In that case, the argument will be more re...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2560.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 492.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20325203252 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95826612883 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483739837398 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 805.5 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 82.8071705832 57.8364921388 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.0 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.218282227539 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0743258471296 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0701772020484 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.128457276422 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0628817314937 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 98.500998004 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.